Black leather, white feather

Queer

Feeling good. Peaceful. Grateful. Appreciating the way people show up and don’t show up.

& it’s all personal- to them.

Seems like it has everything to do with you, right? But it’s actually the other person. & their action or inaction is based on what they feel. What they got going on.

Man. I used to take that shit on. I’m…no longer in the business of doing that. It doesn’t interest me any longer. & if I’ve learned anything on this post modern queer journey: it’s to only do shit, participate in shit & give my energy to shit that lights me up. Feeling responsible for someone else’s feelings or lack there of, neither excites or lights me up, lol.

& I also changed my agreement.

& it feels fucking good. & tbh, along with this new growth-

Wait- holy fuck. Before I get into the feather…my manifestations have been coming in heavy lately. On some I create what I speak, abracadabra type shit and honestly? I’m here for it!

Something has shifted. & changed…me. And as a fixed sun, who tends to get fixated on the goddess of the season that I’m feeling (I say season bc it doesn’t happens all the time like that-that I consider & regard somebody in that way), it’s a very nice feeling to be at peace. Like…truly at peace. My elevation of happiness and peace is the proof (for my own experience) of what I’ve been speaking on for years:

So. To be..idk what to call it, but it feels like a wave…flow…of acceptance, acknowledgement and gratitude.

I have a tendency to say “everyone is my teacher” and I honestly feel that way. This woman taught me so much; from my current dating style and love languages to healthy boundaries and communication (& ways I need to/am working on improving). I mean..think about it. The people that come into our lives are never a mistake. I could never say I regret our relationship. Well, I mean I could say that. But it’s the subsequent growth for me, because of you, me & our dynamic.

Idc how long it lasted. It was valid, important and taught me some shit. & for that, for all my life and love teachers, I give thanks. The presence, the lessons and the blessings.

I found a white feather randomly in my bedroom. The internet “spirituality meaning” experts said this:

White feathers can seem like good luck, but it is less to do with luck and more to do with your vibration changing that is allowing better things to appear in your reality. In this way, white feathers are more a sign of “law of attraction” rather than random good luck.

If white feathers appear just as something positive has happened, it is a sign that you have shifted something on a deep level, such as a core belief system, that is allowing better things to come into your life. 

Receiving white feathers from the flow of the universe is a sign that you have gone through many challenges and done the hard work to break through any limiting beliefs that have held you back. This is a period of time where you connecting and identifying with your core essence and higher self. 

White feathers in this context bring a refreshed sense of hope and faith for the future and bring in the energy of gratitude and peace. You are entering into a season in your life that may be new to you, filled with gifts that the universe wants to send your way. 

To see a white feather after a positive event happens means that this is a time where you should put energy and attention towards your personal and spiritual growth, so that you can continue to open up the layers that are ready to receive the gifts headed your way. You can only hold onto the capacity that your energetic container can hold, so this is a time to expand and strengthen that container.

I’m here for it.

Etta James every day

Uncategorized

I do my best to wake up not only peacefully, but as I open my eyes and rise to a new day, give thanks for it. Give thanks for all the things and human beings in my life. I also do my best to not immediately check emails or social media. I didn’t say that I was perfect at it, I said I do my best. But more often than not, I prevail against the machine. I’ve been taking extended breaks from the likes of Instagram (don’t fuck with FB or Tiktok) and unplugging from the always connected and very disconnected social media Matrix.

As a creator and artist, in the beginning, this was hard to do. Because you realize that once you start sharing your creations and art, people expect you to be on there and posting every day. Or reply to every DM, every collab request, every single thing…on their time (meaning right away) Some things require more urgency, & if it’s my people/friends, that’s different I hit them right back when I get back on, but for the most part…nah. I really had to check myself and check in with myself with my relationship to social media. I realized that the energy of always being online-from waking up first thing and checking your phone and being on it all day had become sort of a fucked up ritual. & acknowledging that social media is intentionally designed to become addictive, I had to change my habits and relationship to it. There came a point that it was so much, that I turned off all of my notifications on everything, and I never turned them back on (such peace).

Cuz some folks really have the audacity to be in my DM’s asking me why I don’t post on a regular schedule or post more content. As if they spend the time, energy, etc. themselves to create it. wild. & It wasn’t until recently that I was introduced to human design and found out that I am what is known as a Manifesting Generator. That shit is actually pretty on brand when you research it. Because it confirmed my own modus operandi when dealing with sharing/creating and social media: I only post when I am moved to do so. When I am inspired and lit up with energy to do so. I treat my art and creating like I do my connections: never force them.

I respond and act. & so now I extend that energy into other areas of my life that also need tending to. Pulling back from the socials (not Twitter, I love twitter, lol. I also intentionally don’t have the convenience of the app. Gimme some credit) has really been beneficial to my intentions of being more present, centered and grounded. Connecting more with myself, my humans and the Earth. That in itself is it’s own kind of love story. A Sunday kind of love story that I will never take for granted again.

What Does A Sunday Kind Of Love Look/Feel Like? (this is my own personal experience)

It's gratitude before you even get outta bed. 
It's making sure you oil pull (on designated days)
It's drinking warm spring water with citrus before anything
Body movement, exercise and stretching
Grounding
No more latte's and coffee, but instead herbal teas
Fresh fruits for breaking fast; consuming fruits with seeds
It's taking time outta the day to smell the flowers and the sea breeze
It's...solfeggio frequencies
having my own and respecting others boundaries
Flow, never forcing
and meditation
sun salutations, touching the Earth with bare feet and sun bathing
It's...therapy sessions
journaling and learning
continuing the great unlearn-
of habits
& outdated practices and ways that we don't show up for ourselves
It's...thinking better (more positive) thoughts
& not taking shit personally (seriously, read The Four Agreements)
It's living my life as authentically as possible
It's...having faith that what is aligned for my highest good (& the highest good of all involved) manifests harmoniously and in divine time
it's...relinquishing control and knowing that I am only responsible for how I show up
It's giving and sharing love, sans expectations or attachments to outcomes
It's showing up and being present with and for loved ones
checking in on your loved ones
especially the ones like myself who have always been labelled "the strong ones"

& remembering that we also deserve the same love, care and concern that we give to others. It’s also not trying to be everything for everybody else, especially without checking in on self-first. It’s declining dinner dates and lunch meetings to take that time to just be…with me. In my past I was ALWAYS on the go. Always doing something. Be it for work or for the social life. & there was never a healthy balance. I was hella successful and accomplished…and also depleted. I needed to see that life had so much more meaning; & is meant to not only be lived, but experienced. So. I changed some shit up.

Started meditating and that was such a game changer (& of course disconnecting from responding and scrolling all the time). & re-connected with my past loves that I neglected in the process. My love for art, writing, music, books, nature…and family life. Being a Life path 4, Capricorn Venus and South Node, I did not take the time that I should have to connect with them because I was too busy building and expanding on my American Dream…so there was no time for them (my partner, my family). Or rather, I made no time for them because truth is…there ‘s always a choice. Until a natural disaster struck and made sure that was no longer the case. I was forced to slow down and recalibrate. This drastic change made way for a new chapter-shit, I say a whole ass new book in my own personal legend (if personal legend stuck out to you, you’re really smart and have read The Alchemist).

1 of my favourite books

This new book gave me back my memory. Of what it is to be/feel free. To contribute in more ways than 1, to my family tree. To love openly and honestly. That vulnerability is bae. It taught, (well, still is teaching me) about the importance of valuing and nourishing my connections. & to never again neglect self, or them. I feel extremely grateful and blessed to be here in this space and place of growth. & the actions that I take, the moves I make…all of the roads now stem from love. A Sunday kind of love, everyday.