Yo. You know one of THEE hardest and most hurtful things to have to deal with is?
Realizing that some of your own family members are the biggest fucking haters. Like, the fam that you fuck with fr..THAT shit? THAT realization?
Bey, een easy. Cuz you love them. & you only want to see them: happy, blessed, etc.
but. 1 ting bout that crabs in a bucket mentality, that shit is gone show it’s ugly fucking truth, through people you never thought it would be….
But..fuck does it teach you duality. To be able to love someone, show them that love-
& to always be very cognizant of the things you share. Regarding your personal life and growth and as things progress for you.
& thanks to the beautiful and powerful love that I received from one of our Ancestors, when she was here on this earth:
if this person needed anything, I’m there. Because of the family ties. Because, other than this undercover hater ass energy…they really are amazing & have been there for me. Been that familiar supportive energy when I needed it most. Extended and shared plenty love.
I’m grateful. & Certainly a lot more cognizant.
I’m…here’s some shit to know bout me, astrologically:
I have Jupiter in the house ruled by Scorpio.
Ima love genuinely and authentically as I been doing.
I Just….Know when to hold ‘em, & know when to fold em.
And distance can be achieved-whilst still being close to someone. I don’t really know how else to describe that. But. It’s definitely a thing.
Ah. Life. Shit is wild. But. Press on, we must. With love & gratitude for the lessons and continued blessings. And, protection 🧿 yah
I’m interested in authentic connection… A life filled with an abundance of love, art/music , travel, romance.
Hand written poetry Fucking your soul into the Cosmos & co-creating love, to “Say Yes” by Floetry
Midnight soaks in a clawfoot tub
Love letters to, and from my love…
& Writing love letters to life…by simply living & experiencing it. & doing my best to not ever take any of it for granted.
I have such a habit-of digressing. Back to this blessing [Life]
& tings I into
Traveling the world on a foodie & culturally centered type itinerary Complementary energy; Easy, like Sunday Morning
Lionel Richie Rich in love, life, experience Adventuring, learning & expanding appreciating every step & every person
Every ting…along this path Is for my growth and advancement
I like slow meals and a slow dance
Proper romance That continues to expand & blossom
Locally led food tours 10 courses via 711 horses Or Hiking in the jungle, to freshly foraged ingredients Breaking bread, crossing cultures Ancestral wisdom & veneration of lineage
Exchanging energy, history, love & community, appreciating (there goes that gratitude again. I’m telling ya, it really changes & shifts shit) but yeah.
🌍 Connection ✨
Collecting memories. Volunteering, serving, giving back in some capacity, as I visit each country.
No matter what town or city, I’m always grateful to Be. Thankful to see a new day, let alone a new horizon, perspective, & hemisphere.
Love…is always in my ear and always in this Air- Sign With a water rising Jupiter approved to make moves Even through temporary wipeouts (thanks Saturn) the wave is always smoothe..
Cuz, it’s the peace of knowing I’m always where I’m meant to be & Doing what I’m meant to do.
Acknowledging that change is the only constant & happiness, love, peace, bliss, etc. comes from within + You are your own Hero & Saviour-it’s up to you whether you sink or swim Good In Frank Oceans Know Thyself: I am the medicine, I am the spell, I am the potion
I am the Source & aligned with Source?
The force (alignment + magick ✨) is strong in this one.
& living life to the fullest, on my own fucking terms 🤟🏿
You know…it’s the small things, seemingly little things like… just the way I live my life now:
I don’t have to rush for things.
I’m never in a rush to do anything. Like before- in the past things seemed so “life or death” or “now or never”and I get it. Some shit is urgent, some tings are on a time crunch. But in general? my life, is not. The way I move in the world now, is not. & I’m so gd grateful.
Especially as a Life path 4 & heavy Saturn ruled person-plus- I have a Virgo Mars 🙂 I was born puttin in work 😂
So. To get out of my own work hard, work harder mode, took some…yep, you guessed it: work 😂
But damn I’m truly grateful to be here now: Flow. Alignment.
And whilst we are here, lemme bless ya life wit some actual Junkanoo rushing from our beautiful island nation 🇧🇸
Is my modus operandi- as I count my blessings (can’t really, they’re innumerable) and recount the amount of joy, bliss, blessings, and I mean…just miraculous ass shit-that is my life.
What a time.
What a ride.
What a life.
I’m so grateful. The lives that I’ve lived…the things I’ve been able to experience…wow. Give thanks.
Don’t leave this plane with regrets. Try/do your best. And fucking remember to LIVE while you are alive. Life is so beautiful and there is so much to see, so many wonderful beings (human & animal) that you will encounter-that will continue to unlock more levels to your life story.
No one is sent to you, to us by accident. I have been and am absolutely blessed to have lived the way I live. To love the way I love. & to be loved. To be seen. Heard. Adored. Cared for, by the people that have come into my life.
And ofc not everyone was all good, had the best intentions, etc. but they were (& are, haters gonna hate forever I think) invaluable to me. Because their dishonesty, their betrayal, the hurt and tears that I have cried over some of them…was/is never in vain.
First of all, tears are healing. We are our own personal waterfall.
& these folks taught me some invaluable lessons; about life, myself and other human beings as we relate to one another. So. I call em lessons in growing and knowing your worth. Discernment. & keeping certain energies away from you and your aura.
Ok. Less time on them folx and more on love.
& I knowwwwwww (trust me I know) this cliché as fuck, but you gotta love yourself. Cuz once you really get there; to the core, down to your roots…you start living in your truth. You accept and love yourself & your authentic expression. And being grounded like that? With a healthy self concept…that’s a magickal ass place to be.
The love and respect that you have for yourself, will be reflected in your relationships. It affects who and what you align with.
And. What you tolerate and allow. Or don’t.
These connections will either nourish and sustain us, as we grow, evolve and age.
Or, will they drain us; our life force and energy.
Surround yourself with peace. & people who feel like home. Who you can absolutely be yourself around-there is no letting hair down. Cuz it was that way when you walked in the door.
Life is to precious and finite to feel discomfort in someone’s presence-based on familiarity, association, time spent..nah
The quality of your friendships and relationships in general, mirror the quality of your life I think.
And as someone who is 11th House ruled (my Aquarius sun + my Capricorn Venus is in the 11th) I have made/formed/created/sustained some pretty beautiful and bad ass connections & relationships with many wonderful humans from all walks of the planet (I’m also a Sagittarius moon 🛫)
To say I’ve lived a very…interesting (but fun, also enlightening, etc) life- from Atlanta to California and so many places in between and outside of that…is definitely an understatement. It’s been wild (not always the good kind 😂) but a hellova ride nonetheless and I take none of it for granted.
Looking forward to the new chapters of this book 😎🤙🏿
Always (Until the trees and seas just up and fly away) Always (Until the day that eight times eight times eight is four) Always (Until the day that is the day that are no more) Did you know you’re loved by somebody (Until the day the earth starts turnin’ right to left) Always (Until the earth just for the sun denies itself) I’ll be lovin’ you forever (Until dear mother nature says her work is through) Always (Until the day that you are me and I am you) Always (Until the rainbow burns the stars out in the sky Until the ocean severs every mountain high) Always mm mm
“As” by Stevie Wonder
A love. A bliss. A connection. Joy.…feelings, emotions & logic: all in alignment. And remembering the dream, the gift that is love requires no additional thought. Just feel.
I’ve been off from work for a few hours. & enjoying music from a time before. & the incomparable Mr. Wonder is playing on my Spotify playlist, “O.Geez”
The temps and weather right now…is weathering
Yeah the temps rn on this particular island…is feeling like the temps in one of my favourite places to live: the Bay Area.
So. I’m happy. My fellow islanders, not so much 😂 but I love it and it feels great. Matter the fact, it feels/aligns with and matches my mood. Good asf. I love it. Give thanks. For a whole lotta tings, but rn, especially music. & especially this gratitude and genuine love that I am blessed and inundated with. Yeah. Alluhdat.
Life is amazing. I mean, of course it’s not perfect.
I have my very human moments of overthinking, anxiety…have you seen (been living in) the state of the world? Depression. Relationships with people you love dearly that need adjustment, or disengagement. & learning (doing your best 😬) to give yourself the same grace and compassion you extend to others. & simply navigating life and the world as a queer Black person.
Life be Lifeing.
But, the Sun always shines again…even if it ain’t tomorrow.
Some shit ain curable in a day let’s bffr.
However…it does eventually.
And what a refreshing feeling.
It’s like…taking Lessons in Breathing*
Until it once again becomes automatic
Abundant Life all around you.
Love ALL around you-
no longer sustaining oneself from a single source
that wasn’t you.
You appreciate the beautiful blues and remember that they are the same hues
As a tropical sky
Within the eye
Of the beholder.
What you believe
What you perceive
Your thoughts and thinking becoming things
Remember the sunshine. Do your best.
*shout out to the amazing Slam Poet Theresa Davis & her life-changing poem (She brought tears to my eyes during several different performances of this poem back in Atlanta)
“Stay Ready” (What A Life) by Jhene Aiko featuring Kendrick Lamar
Your proverbial gun led me to the Sun & my way out of the darkness It was…acceptance Grief. Every stage It seemed like, all…in one day
Give thanks. That contrast begets clarity Producing astonishing colours & never to be to duplicated art- These tears cleansing this cycle of insanity
Offering more love &, offering more of…broken trust Thrown back to me Adorned on a golden, Venusian platter I will always choose love…over the latter I choose my peace, over this natural disaster Protection and self preservation And. I can’t heal a wound, whilst allowing it to be constantly re-injured.
Saturn. Pisces. Retrograde, natal.
And if your goals include healing, growth, &/or moving on from things, people, substances, escapism. . .etc that don’t fuel your best, nor well-interest, higher good or well-being…
You know what it is. Nouns: person, place or tings.
Release what is no longer yours to carry & never forget that Your journey is personal. And healing isn’t linear.
Love & above ☝🏾 ✨
Oh. Here is an article on Saturn in Pisces by Chani Nicholas (also where the post image is from). She’s one of the professional astrologers that I follow on a couple socials:
& That Natalie Imbruglia wybe: Just leave me alone
No matter how many times I say it: “Come correct, or don’t come at all,”motherfuckers steady coming, lol.
If you can’t, if you are unable to give me the love that I need in this particular type of relationship dynamic, leave me tf alone.
I am graciously accepting and loving this life of peace & blessings that I have cultivated for myself so I would rather not allow half assed love/half ass attempts and especially not breadcrumbing. That shit is for birds.
I am no ones “option.” I am a priority; just as I would make the person in my life a priority.
So…I’ma say it again. Come correct or don’t come tf at all because it will not turn out well if you step into this sanctuary, with dirty feet.
& attempt to receive this abundant, beautiful, bountiful, healthy ass love from me-whilst not even being able to meet me halfway?
Half steppin just won’t work. & the way my 7th house is set up with those planets…We can make love or make war, it’s your choice. But I promise, I won’t be the mad one. & no one’s bullshit ass crumbs will steal my joy or disrupt my life. Them days over, bby. My peace is paramount & I will protect it.
Usually…well, I don’t think I made a post last year But I would post something about my B’EarthDay on my IG feed…but this year? Ine into dat. I just…am realizing that I’m not much of a fan of having my personal life up for public consumption. Been posting less and less personal stuff on the socials for a while now. I’m accepting that this is the most comfortable and balanced I feel. So yeah no
But I will post here. No personal images or videos…but, gratitude. Which is enough for me. My cup runneth over ✨
I treat myself (I do my best-some days not so much) and am treated wonderfully by the Universe, my fam and dearest loves/loved ones.
& In the ways that I show up for myself. The foods I intentionally consume and those that I stay away from. The intentional ways that I practice body movement, breathing exercises, take the time to meditate and incorporate healthier ways of being. Sticking to my morning routines. The ways that I speak to myself (the intrusive thoughts, too cuz I can overthink like a mf sometimes) but. Also what I allow and no longer allow. Having and sticking with my healthy boundaries. The life that I have cultivated that is inundated with peace. Abundance. & love. I am so much more aware of and grateful for my life and life in general.
I am extended thee most beautiful and divine love; stemming from my closest humans, to acquaintances and strangers alike.
I am grateful for every human that crosses my path. Whether it be for a reason, season &/or a lifetime…all tings align.
But yeah man..I’m just gonna continue on this path and gracefully and humbly accept all this beautiful ass love and life that I get to experience. It’s a blessing every day above ground.
Granted, some days that’s a lil hard to remember…because: being human. & Shit sucks sometimes…like shit 😂 but man. This ride has been wild af, like bat shit wild some of the things I’ve seen/lived/experienced…what a life. From ATL to the Bay. & errywhere in between…
I’ve had my share of setbacks, setups (ill-intentioned people, envious/jealous people will teach you A Lot of priceless gems and teach you how to better navigate life cuz it’s a lot of them mf’s in it) heartache and heartbreak…& I wouldn’t change that shit for anything. All it did was gift me with experience, lessons, wisdom, shadow work, discernment, a therapist! 😂😂 and the list continues with a whole lot of beautiful ass blessings along the way.
It led me here . To me. As I am now. I’m grateful af. Cuz it and I am only getting better and better. Refinement. More life 🥂 Give thanks ✨
I sit here in bed. On this overcast ass Saturday morning. Broke my “no socials before 10am” boundary & hopped on twitter.
There was this video. I’ll post the video at the end of this. But watching it reminded me of a story that my mum tells people (not like a brag-well, maybe, low key? 🥴) whenever fellow like minded Bahamians get together and speak on how they disciplined…aka beat the shit outta their children in order to “teach them a lesson.”
As I recite this anecdote word for word, I’ll tell you after what my mum (Taurus sun) taught me.
Ok so. I’m about 3-4 years old. We are all in my great uncles infamous church in Eight Mile Rock.
I’m 3. I’m restless. & I start to get fidgety. So. My mum does her best to contain me in my seat and in the midst of her attempting to do so-my 3 year old brain thinks that yes, finally some fun. We are playing. This is a game. & I start playing and end up smacking her face in the midst of what I thought was playtime.
She. The somewhat public figure. She, a Taurus woman with so much pride and image to maintain, takes my 3 year old slap, as a personal slight and attack against her. & “in front of all these people.” As her pressure rises (her words) she grabs me, pulls me out of the church and takes me outside and “wails on me”
Again, her words. I remember the last time this conversation came up, she was talking to some other family members about disciplining children. They, of course (products of thier own environment/upbringing) chuckled and agreed that was the best course of action…for a child. Doing what children do: playing.
Gyalll lemme tell you. I put sum on her behind. I beat the shit outta her.
-my Mum telling people about the ass whoopin she gave me, outside of church.
Now. Please don’t misconstrue or attempt to make it into anything other/more than what I am saying. It was never to the point of me having broken bones, dislocated anything, no fists (a slipper or switch worked for her, lol) no blood, no injuries none of that. I don’t want to ever portray something that never was. I was never a punching bag. Perhaps…maybe a scapegoat for misplaced/misdirected anger at times. but it wasn’t all the time/frequent (bc I’m a fast learner and learned VERY early not to fuck with this woman-I knew the consequences) so it wasn’t an every day or even every week thing. Nah.
But. When it did happen…it was always world shattering to me. Because. That’s where I learned that I could never feel safe, or trust the ONE person in the world, that I wanted and needed that from.
And kids need safety. They need to feel like their parents and primary caregivers will protect them, not the opposite.
So. After Alllllll these years, I still don’t feel safe with her. I’m talking emotionally and psychologically (this phenomenal woman also has an undergrad in Psychology 💀)
But. I never trust her with my feelings or my self. Because. That’s what I was shown. That’s what I learned.
My trust issues…began early.
Here is the video that moved me to write this:
And next, here is the video and song from the artist, Prayers Aka, Leafar Seyer “Trust Issues”
It’s good to be able to say the words and articulate the things that I couldn’t growing up. To, as an adult, realize, understand and accept that…no one deserves “discipline” in the form of violence. & also, that some people that we love/love us the most…have harmed us the most. &. Completely unintentionally. What they grew up learning as discipline…was all that they knew. I’m grateful to be able to accept that. Was it right? Absolutely not. But, it was their way. I’m also grateful to know better, so I can be and do better (big up to Ancestor Angelou) and share this with mine and future generations. There are healthier ways. Give thanks.