patience

Saturn in Pisces

Queer

I no longer wish to subscribe to,

participate in

Or be…ripped to shreds

By: this generational curse

Look at what you done to me

You put a gun to me

Then you brought the Sun to me.

“Stay Ready” (What A Life) by Jhene Aiko featuring Kendrick Lamar
Your proverbial gun led me to the Sun 
& my way out of the darkness
It was…acceptance
Grief. Every stage
It seemed like, all…in one day

Give thanks. That contrast begets clarity
Producing astonishing colours & never to be to duplicated art-
These tears
cleansing this cycle of insanity

Offering more love
&,
offering more of…broken trust
Thrown back to me
Adorned on a golden, Venusian platter
I will always choose love…over the latter
I choose my peace, over this natural disaster
Protection and self preservation
And.
I can’t heal a wound, whilst allowing it to be constantly re-injured.

Saturn.
Pisces.
Retrograde, natal.

And if your goals include healing, growth, &/or moving on from things, people, substances, escapism. . .etc that don’t fuel your best, nor well-interest, higher good or well-being…

You know what it is. Nouns: person, place or tings.

Release what is no longer yours to carry & never forget that Your journey is personal. And healing is linear.

Love & above ☝🏾 ✨

~Syn

Oh. Here is an article on Saturn in Pisces by Chani Nicholas (also where the post image is from). She’s one of the professional astrologers that I follow on a couple socials:

What You Need to Know About Saturn in Pisces

Flipp Dinero (LMAA)

Queer

& That Natalie Imbruglia wybe: Just leave me alone

Yo.

No matter how many times I say it: “Come correct, or don’t come at all,”motherfuckers steady coming, lol.

If you can’t, if you are unable to give me the love that I need in this particular type of relationship dynamic, leave me tf alone.

I am graciously accepting and loving this life of peace & blessings that I have cultivated for myself so I would rather not allow half assed love/half ass attempts and especially not breadcrumbing. That shit is for birds.

I am no ones “option.” I am a priority; just as I would make the person in my life a priority.

So…I’ma say it again. Come correct or don’t come tf at all because it will not turn out well if you step into this sanctuary, with dirty feet.

& attempt to receive this abundant, beautiful, bountiful, healthy ass love from me-whilst not even being able to meet me halfway?

Half steppin just won’t work. & the way my 7th house is set up with those planets…We can make love or make war, it’s your choice. But I promise, I won’t be the mad one. & no one’s bullshit ass crumbs will steal my joy or disrupt my life. Them days over, bby. My peace is paramount & I will protect it.

Retro Dreams

Queer

Dreams…I like to think of them as messages from beyond. Or, even our subconscious. Could be both. Either way. These vivid ass dreams bringing lessons and reminders to the forefront-especially ones regarding love + relationships during Venus retrograde in Capricorn…that dream is so on point.

In this one, I was transported back to Cali. And working at my old spot. There was a gorgeous woman there (that I don’t recognize in real life) who just started working there a couple months prior. We decided to go have lunch together and during lunch also decided to take the rest of the day off to spend more time together since we were having such a wonderful time.

Within those hours from lunch that ended in dinner, this woman-still can’t for the life of me figure out who she is-but remember so vividly…she was so intentional and her actions reflected her interest in me. The things we spoke about and the vulnerability shared between us both..the way she supported me in a not so pleasant moment that I had earlier…it just…reminded me of all the things and ways that I deserve someone to show up for themselves, as themselves and also show up for me.

Her attentiveness, eagerness to learn more about me beyond the surface level stuff. Her gentleness and on the flip side the way she damn near cussed out an aggressive & rude waitress, lol all this shit…when I woke up I was like…ok Universe, ok Ancestors and guides…you speaking to me on some shit that I need to always remember: bare minimum effort will never cut it. Lukewarm is only good for people who prefer that temperature. I’m not one of them.

Basically Venus rx was chopping it up in my dreams. And in Capricorn no doubt. Like bitch, since you not getting it out here lemme visit you while you sleep, lolol. Also, I’m a natal Venus in Capricorn and the way that we give and love (plus add my Pisces rising to that) we go hard for the people we like, care about and love. We will do anything to make your life easier and-sometimes, (according to astrologers, a lot of times) we give too much to people that don’t deserve it. That’s literally what my astrologer reminded me in my recent reading. That we have to be mindful of giving to those who don’t reciprocate. Those who show us that they aren’t on the same level. Also something my therapist said. She be knowin, too.

Well. That dream was divinely timed to say the least. I’m up. I’m paying attention and acting accordingly. That’s what these retrogrades are for, right? Review. Reevaluate. Reassess. The fact that I dreamed about this mystery woman who shared and gave to me all that I want and need-even from the beginning…fuck. She out there. So. Yeah. I don’t mind waiting a little longer for what I deserve-I feel like this is a quote from somewhere. But. Yeah man. Give thanks for these divine messages and reminders via dreams.

I look for ______ in a woman

Queer

I created this video that I posted to my IG stories. I don’t see why my wordpress fam should be denied, lol.

Intimacy vs. Isolation

& I would like to add that I appreciate & highly value: honesty, integrity…vulnerability (as long as she feels safe to be) and authenticity. A Goddess who isn’t afraid of growth. Someone who is loving, a kind human and affectionate..I like that shit

Pulled this from my IG Story Highlights

A Goddess of Sensuality with healthy boundaries. Worldly, i.e. loves to travel and experience new places, while appreciating the beauty in other cultures and ways of living.

She exudes femininity & has a sense humor/can be goofy and loves to laugh & be happy*

*I fuck with all the vibes, but just not the fake ones*

So I’ll never be one of those “positive vibes only” people. That’s like being a robot with no feelings & is just plain harmful & toxic. IMO. so yeah no. We all experience a range of emotions and being able to process & deal with them in a healthy way is the goal. Be angry, be pissed off, be moody if need be, just as long as we not suppressing our feelings, we good. Healthy communication is key. Healthy outlets and knowing oneself; for example my 12H Sun calls for isolation in order for me to process. & I’ve found that taking the necessary steps & space to do so works best. For me. So I want her to feel comfortable with feeling the big and sometimes not so pleasant feelings and do what’s best in her own ways of processing & healing. As long as we’re not sweeping 🧹 shit under the rug and lovingly & intentionally dealing with the opportunities (notice I didn’t say “problems” -because words are powerful) for growth and greater understanding of ourselves and one another.

Soooo, yeah healthy communication is paramount. As is emotional intelligence. & Being cognizant of each other’s love languages. Respect. Even in difficult times.

Loyalty and commitment to one other is also high on my list of things that I value…as an Aqua Sun, Capricorn Venus also respecting each other’s autonomy and monogamy. Stable foundations and co-creation, not co-dependency.

If there’s anything else I think of that aligns I will add to this further. But yeah…

I love David Rose 🌹/Dan Levy. He is one of my fave Leo’s ♌️

This moment that happened

LGBTQ

Earlier in the day. Shit it’s now Friday. So, Thursday…

I was having a challenging…ok kinda shitty morning. However, and I am so glad that I just chuckled at the thought of how far I’ve come, (it’s a Blessing!) that was purdy much,
Ok all self induced 🙄 I can admit it, being human sometimes gets the best of me and I’m definitely not perfect. Totally fine with that 🙂

So the night prior, I was having some not so nice thoughts and in the morning (Thursday) I woke up and even though I was on the right side, I was on the wrong side of the bed based on my karma that played over from the the night before.
I swear I dropped at least 5 different things in a rush on my way out of the door.

side note: I usually NEVER have to rush. Causes too much panic & wasted energy when I can be listening to Sade or Santana whilst enjoying a cup of chai. (Yep, I prefer the latter as well)

So,
needless to say that was the prerequisite to an unusual and very human and very humbling day.

So,
Damn I digressed hella just to get to the climax, lol.
I posted on my Facebook about the day and I said something along the lines of being grateful anyway and saying thank you.

So,
A friend of mine commented that she wish she had my Peace.
That. was the perfect unexpected gift from the Universe to remind me that all is well. very very humbling and reassuring. Because…Divine timing n shyt.

Here’s my Reply:

Jazzy J Jasmine_____ it ain’t always easy, but guess what. I am able to breathe, speak, walk, think, drive, see, love, etc…I literally have to check myself sometimes b/c shit goes wrong and I’m like ugh!!!!! Then I breathe, and talk to my ancestors and the Universe and say that I am in need of some assistance. Help me to be Strong and know that it’s only temporary and the outcome of my moment, day, life, etc is up to me & how I react In this moment and hereafter. I’ve known how shitty things can be with the wrong attitude and/or being ungrateful. I KNOW!
It ain’t cute nor pretty. So that’s when memory is activated and I go, “hmm. I’ve experienced worse, chill TF out, roll down the window, listen to music that makes ur Soul sing along with your voice…yeah, all that- #writer 😬

I’m so Blessed to be here a place where I can recognize when I am out of balance and not my Higher Self. More importantly, changing that energy to positive light ✨
#Yeezyaintteachmethis

Peace and Blessings Manifest 🙏
Love always,
Syn