or real talk

LGBTQ

“How old are you?”

I divulge my age.

“I would have never guessed that…because you look nineteen! And you speak as if you’re in your 40’s or 50’s.”

Ok. Thanks?

I just…I was fast tracked into a lot of growth over a short span of time; mentally and spiritually.

For me, before my awakening, I was SO stubborn, so selfish/SO stuck on self that the Universe was like

“ok, looks like you will have to get it this time, by any means necessary.”

And that’s what I think helped shaped me into this being that I am now and am becoming. I had to go through breaking almost to what I thought was the point of no return.
To me. Where I was. I was broken. I had to come undone to become anything that I might Be.
Some of the lowest thoughts and I was at the lowest of lows.
I didn’t know who I was. I had let a relationship, or rather the ending of a relationship crumple me up like a piece of paper…
And me
Trying to breathe
Trying to see- because my eyes became rivers
Flooding my existence and drowning my being in sorrow.
I didn’t think about tomorrow
I didn’t think
About
Sunshine
I didn’t think about, The Divine
Until
It was the right time
I had be that piece of paper crumbled up

My voice
My spirit
My soul
At that point…
If you can imagine this:
A tiny microscopic organism trying to unravel the entire sheet of paper from within.
That was the fight!
Breaking
FREE
From: Within
Axรฉ.

It’s. The Buddha in me

LGBTQ

I like quiet. And I love my Peace. I’m so Grateful to be at a place where I can quiet my own inner voice and the outside world long enough to meditate.

Cuz, for a long time, I just couldn’t.

Well, first my assumption on what meditation was based on what I had heard/saw and actually was only a small part of it.

Then there’s that whole thing of I wasn’t in the right space mentally.
I wasn’t there because I was too conflicted about myself and my identity, my partner, life etc. so that shit wasn’t happening!

Today, though ๐Ÿ™Œ Nowadays.
Now.

I arise and give thanks.

This morning.

To the sound of the raindrops leaving their essential footprints…

To the sound of:
Rufus Cappadocia’s “Lament
(pandora radio i still fuck with you! Ty for bringing me sounds/music/artists from places and genres I would otherwise not be so quick to explore)

It was a great feeling to wake up with such peace. To live in a home and in a hood that is filled with peace.

I can hear the rain. I see the trees dancing, swaying their branches at a rhythm only the Goddess herself could command.

Nature. Gaia. Goddess.
For this peace, I Am grateful ๐Ÿ™

Hope this Saturday is treating you beautifully. Til next time lovelies.

Syn.

This moment that happened

LGBTQ

Earlier in the day. Shit it’s now Friday. So, Thursday…

I was having a challenging…ok kinda shitty morning. However, and I am so glad that I just chuckled at the thought of how far I’ve come, (it’s a Blessing!) that was purdy much,
Ok all self induced ๐Ÿ™„ I can admit it, being human sometimes gets the best of me and I’m definitely not perfect. Totally fine with that ๐Ÿ™‚

So the night prior, I was having some not so nice thoughts and in the morning (Thursday) I woke up and even though I was on the right side, I was on the wrong side of the bed based on my karma that played over from the the night before.
I swear I dropped at least 5 different things in a rush on my way out of the door.

side note: I usually NEVER have to rush. Causes too much panic & wasted energy when I can be listening to Sade or Santana whilst enjoying a cup of chai. (Yep, I prefer the latter as well)

So,
needless to say that was the prerequisite to an unusual and very human and very humbling day.

So,
Damn I digressed hella just to get to the climax, lol.
I posted on my Facebook about the day and I said something along the lines of being grateful anyway and saying thank you.

So,
A friend of mine commented that she wish she had my Peace.
That. was the perfect unexpected gift from the Universe to remind me that all is well. very very humbling and reassuring. Because…Divine timing n shyt.

Here’s my Reply:

Jazzy J Jasmine_____ it ain’t always easy, but guess what. I am able to breathe, speak, walk, think, drive, see, love, etc…I literally have to check myself sometimes b/c shit goes wrong and I’m like ugh!!!!! Then I breathe, and talk to my ancestors and the Universe and say that I am in need of some assistance. Help me to be Strong and know that it’s only temporary and the outcome of my moment, day, life, etc is up to me & how I react In this moment and hereafter. I’ve known how shitty things can be with the wrong attitude and/or being ungrateful. I KNOW!
It ain’t cute nor pretty. So that’s when memory is activated and I go, “hmm. I’ve experienced worse, chill TF out, roll down the window, listen to music that makes ur Soul sing along with your voice…yeah, all that- #writer
๐Ÿ˜ฌ

I’m so Blessed to be here a place where I can recognize when I am out of balance and not my Higher Self. More importantly, changing that energy to positive light โœจ
#Yeezyaintteachmethis

Peace and Blessings Manifest ๐Ÿ™
Love always,
Syn

G. C- (see)

LGBTQ, QBag, qpoc, qwoc

All friends.
Some
new acquaintances.

It’s
time for dessert

She glances at my plate
Vegan German chocolate cake…

Would you like a taste?
She smirks.

LL Cool J style
I
Lick my lips
purposely slow-

She:
Bites down on bottom lip…

shall I feed it to you? I promise you’ll love it

Eyes:

Barely blinking

Sight: never dwindling

I was hoping you would…

A Tuesday evening never felt so good.

We.T.Mayne

Lesbian, LGBTQ, QBag, qpoc, Queer, qwoc

And This time you could Be.
Alice.

In wonderland
& I’d understand
Each and every one of your quirks
& I’d
Get every single joke
and that smirk

You raise your glass
As
I
raise the hash

We collide when we smash………

Hot tempers cause temperatures to rise
& I always end up bowing
As I rise-
Between those thick ass thighs
Baptized
in Sacred. Venus

Ain’t shyt between us.
.but
Realness And fucking genius.
Believe me.