I had such a tremendous experience(s) this weekend. So much love. So much celebrating. So much quality time with people I don’t get to spend time with that often. It was simply beautiful.
& Also, TONS of work prepping for the ting. Being 1000% present & attentive during the ting.
After a successful, & I do mean full, day (week+ prep) celebrating the woman who helped anchor me to this world…I’m exhausted. Very grateful and very full (love, gratitude, community) and this morning I was prompted to slow tf down.
Please believe this was a v painful (thanks Saturn) reminder as I was carrying the bags of leftover 🗑 to the curb-think, cans, beer & wine bottles) I did some maneuver that was the wrong fucking way to maneuve 🤨 (move) apparently 😂 but that last bag sent me to my doctors office this morning.
& so, 1 steroid shot and a couple of prescriptions later, here I am.
Im actually writing in bed. Wondering if this shit gonna kick in to full gear or stall at 80%. Well. Grateful for everything that led me here, still. Cuz all that work and energy was absolutely worth it.
If being away from my family for 20+ years has taught me anything, it’s to cherish your fucking moments and especially, your people. So. I will never regret showing up and showing tf out, for my love, fam & friends. People should know (ofc not just on 1 day outta the year, no) consistently feel and know how much you care for and love them. We are placed here to love. & to enjoy ourselves-whatever tf that might look like to you.
& as I recognize the lessons in real time more and more now, I’m grateful for the shit. Cuz it only helps make me better.
You gotta be it, to receive it (authentically)
& give it to yourself first, before ever trying to replenish your well.
Be your own water. You the well, too.
🤔 I think the muscle relaxer & anti inflammatory 💊 kickin in, lolol. That’s all the epiphanies from me (fa now 😎)
I’m talking bout Karmic relationships, karmic ties, soulmates, etc. Yeah. All dem, lolol
Has been the…well I wouldn’t say my ruin, but the stress, the drama 🎭 and extra shit that’ll have you like:
The heartache and heartbreak; which is, tbh, sometimes self inflicted when we exaggerate someone’s presence and their place in our lives- yeah, been there, not doing that again.
Or, when we make these temporary lessons in passing…our forever person.
Your everything was sposed to simply be the thing that reminded you not to follow the same path or patterns.
We, drawn to our karmic past lifetimes like a magnet, attract these folx and get into romantic relationships with them, when they was sposed to just be the lesson, or a even a reminder, personified.
We really should’ve just kept it cool, kept it cute & kept it pushin- & not have romantic or sexual (did you know there’s something called sexual soulmates? Thought that was cool) ties to them this go round.
Merry. And Mary.
Twin Flame/Karmic Lover/Ex Forecast: Circles and cloudy.
A time. Once again, Mercury rx is almost fully upon us. Ask for clarity. & discernment, bby.
You know…it’s the small things, seemingly little things like… just the way I live my life now:
I don’t have to rush for things.
I’m never in a rush to do anything. Like before- in the past things seemed so “life or death” or “now or never”and I get it. Some shit is urgent, some tings are on a time crunch. But in general? my life, is not. The way I move in the world now, is not. & I’m so gd grateful.
Especially as a Life path 4 & heavy Saturn ruled person-plus- I have a Virgo Mars 🙂 I was born puttin in work 😂
So. To get out of my own work hard, work harder mode, took some…yep, you guessed it: work 😂
But damn I’m truly grateful to be here now: Flow. Alignment.
And whilst we are here, lemme bless ya life wit some actual Junkanoo rushing from our beautiful island nation 🇧🇸
Is my modus operandi- as I count my blessings (can’t really, they’re innumerable) and recount the amount of joy, bliss, blessings, and I mean…just miraculous ass shit-that is my life.
What a time.
What a ride.
What a life.
I’m so grateful. The lives that I’ve lived…the things I’ve been able to experience…wow. Give thanks.
Don’t leave this plane with regrets. Try/do your best. And fucking remember to LIVE while you are alive. Life is so beautiful and there is so much to see, so many wonderful beings (human & animal) that you will encounter-that will continue to unlock more levels to your life story.
No one is sent to you, to us by accident. I have been and am absolutely blessed to have lived the way I live. To love the way I love. & to be loved. To be seen. Heard. Adored. Cared for, by the people that have come into my life.
And ofc not everyone was all good, had the best intentions, etc. but they were (& are, haters gonna hate forever I think) invaluable to me. Because their dishonesty, their betrayal, the hurt and tears that I have cried over some of them…was/is never in vain.
First of all, tears are healing. We are our own personal waterfall.
& these folks taught me some invaluable lessons; about life, myself and other human beings as we relate to one another. So. I call em lessons in growing and knowing your worth. Discernment. & keeping certain energies away from you and your aura.
Ok. Less time on them folx and more on love.
& I knowwwwwww (trust me I know) this cliché as fuck, but you gotta love yourself. Cuz once you really get there; to the core, down to your roots…you start living in your truth. You accept and love yourself & your authentic expression. And being grounded like that? With a healthy self concept…that’s a magickal ass place to be.
The love and respect that you have for yourself, will be reflected in your relationships. It affects who and what you align with.
And. What you tolerate and allow. Or don’t.
These connections will either nourish and sustain us, as we grow, evolve and age.
Or, will they drain us; our life force and energy.
Surround yourself with peace. & people who feel like home. Who you can absolutely be yourself around-there is no letting hair down. Cuz it was that way when you walked in the door.
Life is to precious and finite to feel discomfort in someone’s presence-based on familiarity, association, time spent..nah
The quality of your friendships and relationships in general, mirror the quality of your life I think.
And as someone who is 11th House ruled (my Aquarius sun + my Capricorn Venus is in the 11th) I have made/formed/created/sustained some pretty beautiful and bad ass connections & relationships with many wonderful humans from all walks of the planet (I’m also a Sagittarius moon 🛫)
To say I’ve lived a very…interesting (but fun, also enlightening, etc) life- from Atlanta to California and so many places in between and outside of that…is definitely an understatement. It’s been wild (not always the good kind 😂) but a hellova ride nonetheless and I take none of it for granted.
Looking forward to the new chapters of this book 😎🤙🏿
I initially created this video/edit clip back when the Pisces Full Moon was doing its thing, but yanno…I was just speaking to a friend of mine from Montreal (who happens to be a professional astrologer) & she was telling me about all this Neptune energy rn and we are both ready for Aries season! No offense to the fish (I’m a Pisces rising, calmate) but the fog, the illusion, the blehhhhhh and hella emotions x being perpetually tired…
Always (Until the trees and seas just up and fly away) Always (Until the day that eight times eight times eight is four) Always (Until the day that is the day that are no more) Did you know you’re loved by somebody (Until the day the earth starts turnin’ right to left) Always (Until the earth just for the sun denies itself) I’ll be lovin’ you forever (Until dear mother nature says her work is through) Always (Until the day that you are me and I am you) Always (Until the rainbow burns the stars out in the sky Until the ocean severs every mountain high) Always mm mm
“As” by Stevie Wonder
A love. A bliss. A connection. Joy.…feelings, emotions & logic: all in alignment. And remembering the dream, the gift that is love requires no additional thought. Just feel.
I’ve been off from work for a few hours. & enjoying music from a time before. & the incomparable Mr. Wonder is playing on my Spotify playlist, “O.Geez”
The temps and weather right now…is weathering
Yeah the temps rn on this particular island…is feeling like the temps in one of my favourite places to live: the Bay Area.
So. I’m happy. My fellow islanders, not so much 😂 but I love it and it feels great. Matter the fact, it feels/aligns with and matches my mood. Good asf. I love it. Give thanks. For a whole lotta tings, but rn, especially music. & especially this gratitude and genuine love that I am blessed and inundated with. Yeah. Alluhdat.
Morning glory When I don’t get excited & am rather indifferent when seeing your name viewing my IG Story Placed her back in the appropriate category Online acquaintance Self care also means spiritual + energetic maintenance
Life is amazing. I mean, of course it’s not perfect.
I have my very human moments of overthinking, anxiety…have you seen (been living in) the state of the world? Depression. Relationships with people you love dearly that need adjustment, or disengagement. & learning (doing your best 😬) to give yourself the same grace and compassion you extend to others. & simply navigating life and the world as a queer Black person.
Life be Lifeing.
But, the Sun always shines again…even if it ain’t tomorrow.
Some shit ain curable in a day let’s bffr.
However…it does eventually.
And what a refreshing feeling.
It’s like…taking Lessons in Breathing*
Until it once again becomes automatic
Abundant Life all around you.
Love ALL around you-
no longer sustaining oneself from a single source
that wasn’t you.
You appreciate the beautiful blues and remember that they are the same hues
As a tropical sky
Within the eye
Of the beholder.
What you believe
What you perceive
Your thoughts and thinking becoming things
Remember the sunshine. Do your best.
*shout out to the amazing Slam Poet Theresa Davis & her life-changing poem (She brought tears to my eyes during several different performances of this poem back in Atlanta)
“Stay Ready” (What A Life) by Jhene Aiko featuring Kendrick Lamar
Your proverbial gun led me to the Sun & my way out of the darkness It was…acceptance Grief. Every stage It seemed like, all…in one day
Give thanks. That contrast begets clarity Producing astonishing colours & never to be to duplicated art- These tears cleansing this cycle of insanity
Offering more love &, offering more of…broken trust Thrown back to me Adorned on a golden, Venusian platter I will always choose love…over the latter I choose my peace, over this natural disaster Protection and self preservation And. I can’t heal a wound, whilst allowing it to be constantly re-injured.
Saturn. Pisces. Retrograde, natal.
And if your goals include healing, growth, &/or moving on from things, people, substances, escapism. . .etc that don’t fuel your best, nor well-interest, higher good or well-being…
You know what it is. Nouns: person, place or tings.
Release what is no longer yours to carry & never forget that Your journey is personal. And healing isn’t linear.
Love & above ☝🏾 ✨
Oh. Here is an article on Saturn in Pisces by Chani Nicholas (also where the post image is from). She’s one of the professional astrologers that I follow on a couple socials:
Just got back in the house after filling up buckets of water and toting them into the belly of the beast- aka where the fire behind mine and my neighbors homes are. There are a couple hot spots left but I just doused them in water and hosed/sprayed 🚿 the shit outta those areas and the green vicinity.
This is a continuation of my adventures from yesterday in being an amateur firefighter when your actual one’s aren’t available/around/understaffed etc.
Yeah. Myself and my neighbors had a time from about…I wanna say 6pm yesterday when the wind blew the “small bush fire” that was 6 houses down, directly behind several of our homes.
& that bitch was mean. I mean…raging at times.
Kinda reminds you of an Aries…or a Taurus if they get to that point 🤬
I digress. Fun night (not at all) but very grateful that we are all safe as well as our homes/property/animals. Give thanks all day.
This post was initially not about me learning the importance of controlled burns and clearing the bush behind your property annually. But yeah no…Lessons acquired.
& I also gotta big up my neighbors because we really all came together and made sure the other was ok and helped water each other’s lawns while the actual fires were being blown closer to our properties and the embers were blowing in the trees, grass, roof…
Ok but…aside from that, here’s why the eff I started this entry:
I read something just now that said, “find your missing piece” in regards to dating/relating.
& my immediate thought after I rolled my eyes was:
I am my missing piece.
Ain no way ima go around proclaiming and affirming to the Universe that I am incomplete or missing something, if I’m not attached to or coupled with someone. That’s wild as hell. Sounds like some serious spelling tbh; you making an agreement (and lk 🔑 putting a spell on yaself) by thinking and believing that someone else has to complete you. Shit. You gon be searching forever (outside of yourself) for something that you are responsible for;
Completeness and wholeness externally
Your own happiness/bliss.
Ngl to you, I been there, too. Could’ve written a book!
But. Give thanks for growth! and learning that was a false premise.
Yeah. That’s all I got, rn. I’m lk 🔑 exhausted from being alert & up all night/morning watching the smoke & bush behind the house.
Nonetheless, I had to take a quick moment to write that last part. Didn’t think I was gonna talk about the first part, tbh. & here we are 😎
Usually…well, I don’t think I made a post last year But I would post something about my B’EarthDay on my IG feed…but this year? Ine into dat. I just…am realizing that I’m not much of a fan of having my personal life up for public consumption. Been posting less and less personal stuff on the socials for a while now. I’m accepting that this is the most comfortable and balanced I feel. So yeah no
But I will post here. No personal images or videos…but, gratitude. Which is enough for me. My cup runneth over ✨
I treat myself (I do my best-some days not so much) and am treated wonderfully by the Universe, my fam and dearest loves/loved ones.
& In the ways that I show up for myself. The foods I intentionally consume and those that I stay away from. The intentional ways that I practice body movement, breathing exercises, take the time to meditate and incorporate healthier ways of being. Sticking to my morning routines. The ways that I speak to myself (the intrusive thoughts, too cuz I can overthink like a mf sometimes) but. Also what I allow and no longer allow. Having and sticking with my healthy boundaries. The life that I have cultivated that is inundated with peace. Abundance. & love. I am so much more aware of and grateful for my life and life in general.
I am extended thee most beautiful and divine love; stemming from my closest humans, to acquaintances and strangers alike.
I am grateful for every human that crosses my path. Whether it be for a reason, season &/or a lifetime…all tings align.
But yeah man..I’m just gonna continue on this path and gracefully and humbly accept all this beautiful ass love and life that I get to experience. It’s a blessing every day above ground.
Granted, some days that’s a lil hard to remember…because: being human. & Shit sucks sometimes…like shit 😂 but man. This ride has been wild af, like bat shit wild some of the things I’ve seen/lived/experienced…what a life. From ATL to the Bay. & errywhere in between…
I’ve had my share of setbacks, setups (ill-intentioned people, envious/jealous people will teach you A Lot of priceless gems and teach you how to better navigate life cuz it’s a lot of them mf’s in it) heartache and heartbreak…& I wouldn’t change that shit for anything. All it did was gift me with experience, lessons, wisdom, shadow work, discernment, a therapist! 😂😂 and the list continues with a whole lot of beautiful ass blessings along the way.
It led me here . To me. As I am now. I’m grateful af. Cuz it and I am only getting better and better. Refinement. More life 🥂 Give thanks ✨