Lesbian

Magnum Opus

Queer

No mf notes.

Ofc I’m gonna keep talking. Because I’m currently listening to this song on my playlist called:

Romancing the (rose quartz) Stone

& it triggered a core memory of gayness. Story time:

*

*also good to remember: In other peoples stories, projections and perceptions of you; you will be a hero to some, & the villain & big bad wolf to others. Try not to take it too personally. We are being perceived from so many angles at times, people forget to search the Source-themselves first. I mean, we play our parts, according to our own awareness right? Lessons & shit we need to learn? Well. Some people are just shitty, horrible people & they’re quite aware of it 😂

Sooo. This:

Artist: dvsn Song: The Line

When I first heard this beautiful ass, long ass song…ine ga lie, my shit was blown 🤯 bc it was so perfectly sung and executed..a piece of my soul felt cracked open. It felt like I was levitating. Also my soft ass (grateful for this placement tho, lk 🔑) Pisces ♓️ rising fell ALL the way in love with the lyrics. The thought & possibility of loving & being loved this thoroughly, openly & deep again..i. Well, back to the song.

The Line. How can you not help but to feel shit upon hearing it? It’s almost haunting, right before he begins the first verse. & that moaning/mumble singing in the background-that longing, an undeniable love that is being boldly proclaimed… Love that stretches from the heavens and extends from the Cosmos, down to where the light will never touch- in the depths of the deepest ocean.

& that feeling continues throughout the entirety of the song. So to say that I played it a million times, would be a lie. It was 2 million 😂

The lyrics…I really can go on about this song forever. But I need to take my ass to bed. So back to the 🏳️‍🌈 memory:

I was invited to a family dinner with a group of us lgbtq folx, thrown by my friend who happens to be an amazing award winning Chef, & her fiancée. The food was being laid out & presented so beautifully & being that her fiancée is also a music head, she decided that it was time to “put us on”.

Me:

I told them that they HAD to hear that song 🎵 that I was currently obsessed with. They indulged me (bc my musical taste is awesome 👅)

I played that track. Everyone stopped what they were doing and sat there. Fast forward a few weeks later & I get a phone call from them both, thanking me for helping them select the perfect song for their wedding (told ya my taste was awesome 😂) & at the actual ceremony when they played the song…it was forever etched into my soul; a song of love everlasting, shared by two souls vowing to embrace, support & love one another…& knowing the love that those two humans have for each other…makes it even more beautiful & meaningful. This song allowed me to witness and be a part of all that magical, radical ass love. Give thanks.

Stay Ready ||2.18|| What a Life ✨

Queer

Usually…well, I don’t think I made a post last year But I would post something about my B’EarthDay on my IG feed…but this year? Ine into dat. I just…am realizing that I’m not much of a fan of having my personal life up for public consumption. Been posting less and less personal stuff on the socials for a while now. I’m accepting that this is the most comfortable and balanced I feel. So yeah no

But I will post here. No personal images or videos…but, gratitude. Which is enough for me. My cup runneth over ✨

I treat myself (I do my best-some days not so much) and am treated wonderfully by the Universe, my fam and dearest loves/loved ones.

Every day.

& In the ways that I show up for myself. The foods I intentionally consume and those that I stay away from. The intentional ways that I practice body movement, breathing exercises, take the time to meditate and incorporate healthier ways of being. Sticking to my morning routines. The ways that I speak to myself (the intrusive thoughts, too cuz I can overthink like a mf sometimes) but. Also what I allow and no longer allow. Having and sticking with my healthy boundaries. The life that I have cultivated that is inundated with peace. Abundance. & love. I am so much more aware of and grateful for my life and life in general.

I am extended thee most beautiful and divine love; stemming from my closest humans, to acquaintances and strangers alike.

I am grateful for every human that crosses my path. Whether it be for a reason, season &/or a lifetime…all tings align.

But yeah man..I’m just gonna continue on this path and gracefully and humbly accept all this beautiful ass love and life that I get to experience. It’s a blessing every day above ground.

Granted, some days that’s a lil hard to remember…because: being human. & Shit sucks sometimes…like shit 😂 but man. This ride has been wild af, like bat shit wild some of the things I’ve seen/lived/experienced…what a life. From ATL to the Bay. & errywhere in between…

I’ve had my share of setbacks, setups (ill-intentioned people, envious/jealous people will teach you A Lot of priceless gems and teach you how to better navigate life cuz it’s a lot of them mf’s in it) heartache and heartbreak…& I wouldn’t change that shit for anything. All it did was gift me with experience, lessons, wisdom, shadow work, discernment, a therapist! 😂😂 and the list continues with a whole lot of beautiful ass blessings along the way.

It led me here . To me. As I am now. I’m grateful af. Cuz it and I am only getting better and better. Refinement. More life 🥂 Give thanks ✨

All dem Brujas

Queer 
Me and bae in a dimly lit lounge.
Sippin drinks with clever names & shit hard to pronounce


We sip.
We stare into the eyes of each other’s abyss-
& welcome it
With open arms
I worship her body as a living, breathing psalm…

I booked us an exquisite suite
in the boutique-
hotel not too far from here

In our gay village, surrounded by community

It’s a full moon eclipse
we sip
&
Embrace our lunacy…

Two.

Too goddamn powerful to ever be tamed
Or,
Contained

Music is playing
“Diamond” by All Them Witches

You, look absolutely delicious.

Sittin. Pretty.
Ready
to be devoured


I, ready to oblige
Etta James-
damn, your eyes..

In this dimly lit room
She has that look
that lets me know, it’s time to go..it’s time to consume
🔥

“I’m Glowin The Fuck Up!” -Lil Murda

Queer

I used that line from 1 of my fave shows, P-Valley. If you follow any of my other socials (Twitter, Instagram) then you know how much I absolutely love this show.

Ok. So why tf is that line the title of this post?

Because I felt like it. & I felt like it because the moments that I experienced leading up to even thinking of that line, had me feeling like Murda when Keyshawn showed him the WSHH feature with them. That energy. That Soul Glo ✨ cuz you now in the process of mining ⛏ your own diamonds…& once you realize…that you are also the Diamond 💎 game fucking changer.

What a time. What a life, Jhene Aiko. Seeing your shit come to fruition-in the divinely timed order it’s sposed to ✨

The feeling of having pride in your work and what the fuck you put out into the world. & also tremendous gratitude for what was, what’s happening rn and for allllll the beautiful, magical, wonderful experiences coming.

Give thanks. Gratitude for the doors and windows 🪟 that’s opening for me-& the right ones at that. The ones that feel good. That feel at ease. That feel joyful. That’s for my highest good & the highest good if all involved. Them joints that feel right & aligned ✨ give thanks.

PODCAST: The Joyful Experience

I am so pleased, so grateful and sooo excited to be sharing this Podcast & more of myself with you.

As you will hear in the Podcast, I am a 12H sun. With Jupiter in my 8H…Capricorn Mercury and Venus…ine into foolishness.

This 12H energy has me in the cut working on self in several ways, which I’m not mad about at all. & sometimes, I am beckoned to “show my face” & in this case, share my voice.

So. Here I Am.

& I am absolutely delighted to be able to share some of my innermost thoughts & feels regarding dating and mating with Astrology-& how you relate to your own birth chart.

Big up and Big love to all of the professional astrologers that have guided me these last few years and really helped a bih understand more and grow.

I am ever grateful for every opportunity and every gift. & this Podcast was certainly that.

Big love always to my beloved colleague, fellow author, writer, bad ass Scorpio witch and friend, Kat.

Give thanks for our queer family tree that’s been growin from AOL online/chat room times (yeah we old-ish) lol. I’m hella grateful for such a wonderful opportunity. That shit was hella fun.

Syncere, Guest Host. The Joyful Experience Podcast, August, 2022

Listen To Full Podcast Here

Tender Boys & Mama (Ms. Ernestine)

Queer 

Tender boys who grew up wit they Grammy
And all her cats
Left to sit back
Cuz when he walk, he got a switch back
That earned him tenure at her house

Jason,
Sweet as pie and quiet as a mouse
Played in the yard, barely left the house

Boys like him was hushed at an early age
At the early stage
When da men dem peep his ways
His true self died at an early age 

Like his body did, from AIDS

If I could take a turn back of the page
I would hug him so tight
Let him know that it’s alright
To love and to like...who you like

To be who you be
As softly
As you would like to walk these island streets
Bey I wish I was older when we did meet

I just remember the smile

The smile that showed me early, it was ok to be the Sun
even if some folks prefer shade…


Jason,
I remember you.
I honor you.
I love you.

My first known queer Ancestor
I remember ✨🕊
~Syn
Uncle Clifford and Ms. Ernestine

Taurus season x Grad Nite

Queer

I wonder if it’s my 12H Sun or my Jupiter in Scorpio ♏️ as to why I (think) that I contemplate death and loss more than the average person. Hmm, contemplate is a strong word. I don’t consider it as taboo or hard to discuss as most people do.

But. I mean. We all have experienced or will experience loss in some form. & this is why I go so hard for presence. & intentionality. Because not a single moment or thing is promised to any of us.

I remember when we finally were able to go through the garage (recently built a new home, and shit just ends up in the garage…like, all the things end up there 😮‍💨) so getting to go through stuff properly and notice the amount of things that were able to be salvaged and saved from Hurricane Dorian 🌀 puts shit into perspective.

Because thank the universe/god/the ancestors protection that the lives of my mum…ok basically everyone and I do mean EVERYONE on my Mum side of the family would have been gone.

The magnitude of that storm over that island (& Abaco)…if it had remained over the island any longer…I would have lost all of my family on that side. They lost their vehicles, their homes and the amount of trauma the have from that whole situation; from seeing the dead bodies of your neighbors floating by you, as the water rose and you had to flee to a nearby fire station…which also became overcrowded and flooded…the stories I’ve heard…Losing things don’t feel like shit when you almost lose your life.

Perspective like a mf.

“Don’t sweat the small stuff” is cliche asf…but like…yeah, no don’t. Life is too finite for that

So. Grad Nite, yes. My Disney Grad Nite photo album was saved. Wild. Can’t even recall most of that weekend, tbh. Or my HS “experience.” I was in a weird place. Forced assimilation via immigration. But…freedom, nonetheless, a?

I don’t recall being much of a person back then. I recall being what I was supposed to be, told to be, taught to be. No voice. No personality. A shell. Under the roof of a staunch Christian and full time witch…but not the good kind.

Who loved to gossip & report my every move to not only my mum, but everyone back home in the family. Wild. Lmao. I’ve come a long ass fucking way from that life!

Shit! All I can do is give thanks. For the being that I am now-knowing what I had to emerge from. Some Kafka shit-sans the bug. I’ll take a caterpillar 🐛 instead. That morphed into the wolf 🐺 don’t be a judge Judy- transformation is and looks different for everyone. This my journey. Back to what was saved. The Grad Nite album

Umm, what else…oh! my Baptism or Christening (is that the same thing? Idk I was a baby, I didn’t have a choice on my attendance) dress. My HS graduation gown. Some random trophy’s from tennis 🎾 to a math award (boy do I have a back story on that award 🥇 😎) My Scholastic, extracurricular resume which…I don’t even remember what tf I needed a resume for back then 🧐 oh another random photo album I made before I moved away…some old toys (not that kind-I left at a young age)

& one of the things I appreciate about my Taurus ass mutha, was her intentions of me seeing and having Black dolls (which I never played with but I did play with the Lego sets and Tonka trucks 😂) but my joints had skin that looked like mine. She was real G for that.

Oh. My Jordan doll from NKOTB…umm, don’t act like they wasn’t the shit back then.

Pls NKOTB used to slap!

Sooooo. how tf does this all connect?

It’s Taurus season. Taurus themes: what we value. Friday is ruled by Venus..which is the ruler of Taurus. All things align ✨

Jay Pritchett

Queer

Closets, Closets, Closets

It’s where we keep our stuff.

Sometimes, it’s where the ones around us, the ones who claim to love and care about us…the ones we also love the most…want us to store, hide and compartmentalize;

the parts that they, their friends, surrounding and immediate communities wants us to keep hidden and locked away. Because it’s more comfortable for them, as long as that part of us is stuffed in there-without a trace, without a say.

Now, the catch is, living here on this island and in this country- even though the doors are welcomed to be open, there’s always someone there dangling locks and keys in your face, when your stuff is too boldly displayed.

Be yourself!-

wait, but not like that…

Your Paradise Is My Hell.

I Suppress Where You Vacation.
Paradise? Nah, been lost. 

I usually keep my hair shaved pretty low on the sides. So I went on Instagram and searched for the least threatening/aggressive/misogynistic seeming barber on island to get a haircut since I had been back home for a while and was long overdue. Found some cool looking dudes. & got some inches off the top and back to the usual, close on the side. In barber terms i'd say probably a 1.Got home to the displeasure of my aunt and my mum, by the looks on their faces, they hated it.

part 1:

I don’t like it, I like your hair when it’s longer

-my Aunt





part 2:






Make sure you don’t cut your hair anymore. I don’t like you looking so much like a boy…
-my Mum





According to astrology I'm in my profection year that deals with family and roots. & I'm reminded why I left this place in the first place.

All those years of being away
from these prominent figures and triggers
This trauma and drama
& these closets
& half ass acceptance
receiving whatsapp messages on repentance
feels like i'm serving a sentence
in a picturesque hell
be you; but make sure you hide that gay shit well
lest you be the topic of conversation
in a "christian nation"

I Suffer Where You Vacation

Facing
constant backlash and retaliation
simply for existing
as me
Never free
& if you dare to be- here comes that lock and key






					

			
	
			
	


			
				



			

						
							
					

	
	

		
When words become things

					Queer
		
			


					

			

I offer you
Pearls of rain
Coming from the lands
Where it never rains
I will cross the world
Till after my death
To cover your bosom
With gold and light
I will make a kingdom
where love will be king
Where love will be the law
Where you will be queen
Ne Me Quitte Pas





When the words are so sweet. So intentional and so unique…you just gotta share them. For some who may not hear them or have heard. A love bizarre…a love absurd.





A love of the ages and one that will rival the epic stories of the gods and goddesses. That is what I live for. Ache & breathe for. I could never settle for lukewarm…I want more. & some more…ode to Miss Simone. I vow to never place my love on a pedestal, nonetheless…worship her on her throne.





A Queen. My Selene; my Moon and Stars…forever.

					

			
	
			
	


			
				



			

						
							
					

	
	

		
Letter to Her & the blessing of a Doula

					Lesbian, LGBTQ, QBag, qpoc, Queer, qwoc
		
			


					

			




A vision of you

Naked

In our living room 

In the pool


Me:

Eyes-

open

Heart

OPEN

The Universe;

Open

Your legs are open

I’m looking at you

Reverently

Admiring

Your crown

Your chest

Goes up and down

Sweat dripping off your brow

Sweat dripping down my back




This. Here.

This place Is where we are at


Where river and ocean meet-in love.




And I don’t know which number cloud I am on

and you’re love, your gift is the high I’m on


Unbelievable

Surreal

I’m not sure what it is I feel

Love is overflowing

In this moment

Amidst your screams and moaning

I know now what it feels like to BE In the Moment

Cuz as your breathing

I breathe with you

I want you to know I’m here with you

I’m here for you

And I’ll never leave you

I hold your hand tightly as you squeeze mine

Every breath and every scream freezes time

You are mine

As we are crying tears of Heaven

Reign down and you bear down

And deliver the greatest gift I would ever receive: our child.


Give thanks to the Great Mother. Give thanks to the Great Goddess.


Peace and Blessings Manifest. Axé.

					

			
	
			
	


			
				



			

						
							
					

	
	

		
or real talk

					LGBTQ
		
			


					

			
“How old are you?”


I divulge my age.


“I would have never guessed that…because you look nineteen! And you speak as if you’re in your 40’s or 50’s.”


Ok. Thanks?


I just…I was fast tracked into a lot of growth over a short span of time; mentally and spiritually.


For me, before my awakening, I was SO stubborn, so selfish/SO stuck on self that the Universe was like


“ok, looks like you will have to get it this time, by any means necessary.”


And that’s what I think helped shaped me into this being that I am now and am becoming. I had to go through breaking almost to what I thought was the point of no return.

To me. Where I was. I was broken. I had to come undone to become anything that I might Be.

Some of the lowest thoughts and I was at the lowest of lows.

I didn’t know who I was. I had let a relationship, or rather the ending of a relationship crumple me up like a piece of paper…

And me

Trying to breathe

Trying to see- because my eyes became rivers

Flooding my existence and drowning my being in sorrow.

I didn’t think about tomorrow

I didn’t think

About

Sunshine

I didn’t think about, The Divine

Until

It was the right time

I had be that piece of paper crumbled up


My voice

My spirit

My soul

At that point…

If you can imagine this:

A tiny microscopic organism trying to unravel the entire sheet of paper from within.

That was the fight!

Breaking

FREE

From: Within

Axé.