Tender Boys & Mama (Ms. Ernestine)

Queer

Tender boys who grew up wit they Grammy
And all her cats
Left to sit back
Cuz when he walk, he got a switch back
That earned him tenure at her house

Jason,
Sweet as pie and quiet as a mouse
Played in the yard, barely left the house

Boys like him was hushed at an early age
At the early stage
When da men dem peep his ways
His true self died at an early age

Like his body did, from AIDS

If I could take a turn back of the page
I would hug him so tight
Let him know that it’s alright
To love and to like...who you like

To be who you be
As softly
As you would like to walk these island streets
Bey I wish I was older when we did meet

I just remember the smile

The smile that showed me early, it was ok to be the Sun
even if some folks prefer shade…


Jason,
I remember you.
I honor you.
I love you.

My first known queer Ancestor
I remember ✨🕊
~Syn
Uncle Clifford and Ms. Ernestine

Return of the Yet-eye

Queer

The folks that are sent to us are on purpose, yes. Meant to be a prominent part of our lives forever? That’s gonna be a hell naw. & the moment I realized that, shit made so much sense. & my ability to let go of relationships? Hmm, let’s use connections, instead. My ability to accept things and situations for what they are…what they present themselves to me as…as opposed to obsessing and overthinking (please don’t get me wrong-with this many Virgo placements, overthinking & overanalyzing will occur) But I’ve gotten way better about acceptance. & not placing every connection in a box or category.

Connections sometimes have disconnection. Sometimes they last *momentarily* like…a couple months, type shit. & it really can be a fun, fulfilling (for all that it’s meant to be) connection that was simply that:

A moment in time. I really wanted to say a wrinkle in time, but..yeah you get it.

Lemme even use my own self as an example. I had this connection with this fine ass gyal. She was down to earth, not afraid to be goofy/silly, had great taste in music, food, art, film, etc…..and loved the beach/water. All good tings (for me/to me-because you know, to each their own) and we had fun as we keke’d back and forth.

You wanna know thee biggest takeaway from that connection that actually inspired this post? This

She was on the boat one day and had this tumbler. I was like damn this thing keeping your shit ice cold for hella long. Well. Long story short I got myself one and it has been my favourite ever since. I absolutely love this thing. I take it on dives, I take it on lil road trips to the other end of the island (its contents may vary) and use it when I’m lounging around and just drinking some of my fave freshly brewed hot teas.

This tumbler? We were meant to be forever. That connection with the gyal? mmmm, not so much, lolol. But we good tho. Aint no feelings; hard nor soft. Nothing lost on either part because there weren’t any superficial…hm is that the word I wanna use…no expectations beyond how we connected in those moments. Give thanks. All things align.