Tender Boys & Mama (Ms. Ernestine)

Queer

Tender boys who grew up wit they Grammy
And all her cats
Left to sit back
Cuz when he walk, he got a switch back
That earned him tenure at her house

Jason,
Sweet as pie and quiet as a mouse
Played in the yard, barely left the house

Boys like him was hushed at an early age
At the early stage
When da men dem peep his ways
His true self died at an early age

Like his body did, from AIDS

If I could take a turn back of the page
I would hug him so tight
Let him know that it’s alright
To love and to like...who you like

To be who you be
As softly
As you would like to walk these island streets
Bey I wish I was older when we did meet

I just remember the smile

The smile that showed me early, it was ok to be the Sun
even if some folks prefer shade…


Jason,
I remember you.
I honor you.
I love you.

My first known queer Ancestor
I remember ✨🕊
~Syn
Uncle Clifford and Ms. Ernestine

Jay Pritchett

Queer

Closets, Closets, Closets

It’s where we keep our stuff.

Sometimes, it’s where the ones around us, the ones who claim to love and care about us…the ones we also love the most…want us to store, hide and compartmentalize;

the parts that they, their friends, surrounding and immediate communities wants us to keep hidden and locked away. Because it’s more comfortable for them, as long as that part of us is stuffed in there-without a trace, without a say.

Now, the catch is, living here on this island and in this country- even though the doors are welcomed to be open, there’s always someone there dangling locks and keys in your face, when your stuff is too boldly displayed.

Be yourself!-

wait, but not like that…

Your Paradise Is My Hell.

I Suppress Where You Vacation.
Paradise? Nah, been lost. 
I usually keep my hair shaved pretty low on the sides. So I went on Instagram and searched for the least threatening/aggressive/misogynistic seeming barber on island to get a haircut since I had been back home for a while and was long overdue. Found some cool looking dudes. & got some inches off the top and back to the usual, close on the side. In barber terms i'd say probably a 1.Got home to the displeasure of my aunt and my mum, by the looks on their faces, they hated it.
 

part 1:

I don’t like it, I like your hair when it’s longer

-my Aunt




part 2:

Make sure you don’t cut your hair anymore. I don’t like you looking so much like a boy…

-my Mum
According to astrology I'm in my profection year that deals with family and roots. & I'm reminded why I left this place in the first place.

All those years of being away
from these prominent figures and triggers
This trauma and drama
& these closets
& half ass acceptance
receiving whatsapp messages on repentance
feels like i'm serving a sentence
in a picturesque hell
be you; but make sure you hide that gay shit well
lest you be the topic of conversation
in a "christian nation"

I Suffer Where You Vacation

Facing
constant backlash and retaliation
simply for existing
as me
Never free
& if you dare to be- here comes that lock and key

News (2)

Bisexual, Gay, gender, Lesbian, LGBTQ, qpoc, Queer, qwoc, sexuality, Transgender

*exhaling* This was tough to write/edit/see/read/share/be…

14 going on 15
Takes shot gun
To school
& starts aiming
At pretty girl and pretty boys

bully

14 going on 15
Can make a lot of noise-

When boys
and girls & gym teacher
Call him “girl”

They say strong things like:

gay-bullying

You queer!
Look at what you wear!

He has no jordans or no gucci
No Louis
Just blue jeans
From 3 siblings
prior

“Ha ha ha ha” they will all be on fire

…the day prior
He ate his pb&j
On lunch break
A rock split his skin on the side of his face
Another slammed into his head

bs-md-ci-beating

He bled
Where he sat
& they laughed and they spat
& he cried and they spat
He cringed
As the fire within him singed
They kicked & kicked
&

gb1
They punched him in the face
You fucking gay! That’s what you get!
Face.

faces

All peering
Faces
All staring
Fear
Shame
Tears
Dirt
Sweat..
He ran around the corner
As quiet as mouse
He tiptoed and entered his house
There he found mom & spouse
Passed out on the couch

His eyes searched for their crack pipes
Yes, they will be out like Lights

Her raced into the bedroom
Under the bed he found the families heirloom

gun-play-movie-poster-1935

A 45

He picked it up
He beat on his chest
He felt like a man!
He felt alive

Packed in backpack
He headed back
What you looking at Fag?
Im looking at You looking at lead
Bang!
Bang!
Bang!
Pretty girl and pretty boy, shot in the head.
Can you feel it???
This baby!
His pain!

InnocenceSeung-Hui Cho

turned to RAGE
What he was thinking as he aimed!

How did we fail?
How do we keep failing our babies?

Bowling…bowling, bowling for

columbine