Tender boys who grew up wit they Grammy
And all her cats
Left to sit back
Cuz when he walk, he got a switch back
That earned him tenure at her house
Sweet as pie and quiet as a mouse
Played in the yard, barely left the house
Boys like him was hushed at an early age
At the early stage
When da men dem peep his ways
His true self died at an early age
Like his body did, from AIDS
If I could take a turn back of the page
I would hug him so tight
Let him know that it’s alright
To love and to like...who you like
To be who you be
As you would like to walk these island streets
Bey I wish I was older when we did meet
I just remember the smile
The smile that showed me early, it was ok to be the Sun
even if some folks prefer shade…
I remember you.
I honor you.
I love you.
My first known queer Ancestor
I remember ✨🕊
Closets, Closets, Closets
It’s where we keep our stuff.
Sometimes, it’s where the ones around us, the ones who claim to love and care about us…the ones we also love the most…want us to store, hide and compartmentalize;
the parts that they, their friends, surrounding and immediate communities wants us to keep hidden and locked away. Because it’s more comfortable for them, as long as that part of us is stuffed in there-without a trace, without a say.
Now, the catch is, living here on this island and in this country- even though the doors are welcomed to be open, there’s always someone there dangling locks and keys in your face, when your stuff is too boldly displayed.
wait, but not like that…
Your Paradise Is My Hell.
I Suppress Where You Vacation.
Paradise? Nah, been lost.
I usually keep my hair shaved pretty low on the sides. So I went on Instagram and searched for the least threatening/aggressive/misogynistic seeming barber on island to get a haircut since I had been back home for a while and was long overdue. Found some cool looking dudes. & got some inches off the top and back to the usual, close on the side. In barber terms i'd say probably a 1.Got home to the displeasure of my aunt and my mum, by the looks on their faces, they hated it.
I don’t like it, I like your hair when it’s longer-my Aunt
Make sure you don’t cut your hair anymore. I don’t like you looking so much like a boy…-my Mum
According to astrology I'm in my profection year that deals with family and roots. & I'm reminded why I left this place in the first place. All those years of being away from these prominent figures and triggers This trauma and drama & these closets & half ass acceptance receiving whatsapp messages on repentance feels like i'm serving a sentence in a picturesque hell be you; but make sure you hide that gay shit well lest you be the topic of conversation in a "christian nation" I Suffer Where You Vacation Facing constant backlash and retaliation simply for existing as me Never free & if you dare to be- here comes that lock and key
*exhaling* This was tough to write/edit/see/read/share/be…
14 going on 15
Takes shot gun
& starts aiming
At pretty girl and pretty boys
14 going on 15
Can make a lot of noise-
and girls & gym teacher
Call him “girl”
They say strong things like:
Look at what you wear!
He has no jordans or no gucci
Just blue jeans
From 3 siblings
“Ha ha ha ha” they will all be on fire
…the day prior
He ate his pb&j
On lunch break
A rock split his skin on the side of his face
Another slammed into his head
Where he sat
& they laughed and they spat
& he cried and they spat
As the fire within him singed
They kicked & kicked
He ran around the corner
As quiet as mouse
He tiptoed and entered his house
There he found mom & spouse
Passed out on the couch
His eyes searched for their crack pipes
Yes, they will be out like Lights
Her raced into the bedroom
Under the bed he found the families heirloom
He picked it up
He beat on his chest
He felt like a man!
He felt alive
Packed in backpack
He headed back
What you looking at Fag?
Im looking at You looking at lead
Pretty girl and pretty boy, shot in the head.
Can you feel it???
turned to RAGE
What he was thinking as he aimed!
How did we fail?
How do we keep failing our babies?
Bowling…bowling, bowling for