Tina Montana

Queer

Yo. You know one of THEE hardest and most hurtful things to have to deal with is?

Realizing that some of your own family members are the biggest fucking haters. Like, the fam that you fuck with fr..THAT shit? THAT realization?

Bey, een easy. Cuz you love them. & you only want to see them: happy, blessed, etc.

but. 1 ting bout that crabs in a bucket mentality, that shit is gone show it’s ugly fucking truth, through people you never thought it would be….

But..fuck does it teach you duality. To be able to love someone, show them that love-

& to always be very cognizant of the things you share. Regarding your personal life and growth and as things progress for you.

& thanks to the beautiful and powerful love that I received from one of our Ancestors, when she was here on this earth:

if this person needed anything, I’m there. Because of the family ties. Because, other than this undercover hater ass energy…they really are amazing & have been there for me. Been that familiar supportive energy when I needed it most. Extended and shared plenty love.

I’m grateful. & Certainly a lot more cognizant.

Dr. Maya Angelou ✨🕊

And

Tiq Milan

I’m…here’s some shit to know bout me, astrologically:

I have Jupiter in the house ruled by Scorpio.

Ima love genuinely and authentically as I been doing.

I Just….Know when to hold ‘em, & know when to fold em.

And distance can be achieved-whilst still being close to someone. I don’t really know how else to describe that. But. It’s definitely a thing.

Ah. Life. Shit is wild. But. Press on, we must. With love & gratitude for the lessons and continued blessings. And, protection 🧿 🪬 yah

The ruin..of many a poor Boi

Queer

& God

I know I’m one

-The House of the Rising Sun

I’m talking bout Karmic relationships, karmic ties, soulmates, etc. Yeah. All dem, lolol

Has been the…well I wouldn’t say my ruin, but the stress, the drama 🎭 and extra shit that’ll have you like:

The heartache and heartbreak; which is, tbh, sometimes self inflicted when we exaggerate someone’s presence and their place in our lives- yeah, been there, not doing that again.

Or, when we make these temporary lessons in passing…our forever person.

Your everything was sposed to simply be the thing that reminded you not to follow the same path or patterns.

We, drawn to our karmic past lifetimes like a magnet, attract these folx and get into romantic relationships with them, when they was sposed to just be the lesson, or a even a reminder, personified.

We really should’ve just kept it cool, kept it cute & kept it pushin- & not have romantic or sexual (did you know there’s something called sexual soulmates? Thought that was cool) ties to them this go round.

Merry. And Mary.

Twin Flame/Karmic Lover/Ex Forecast: Circles and cloudy.

A time. Once again, Mercury rx is almost fully upon us. Ask for clarity. & discernment, bby.

energetic transitions x Sade

Queer

Yo. Ima need y’all to play “Paradise” by Sade.

Because this line specifically:

Oooh, what a life

Is my modus operandi- as I count my blessings (can’t really, they’re innumerable) and recount the amount of joy, bliss, blessings, and I mean…just miraculous ass shit-that is my life.

What a time.

What a ride.

What a life.

I’m so grateful. The lives that I’ve lived…the things I’ve been able to experience…wow. Give thanks.

Yo.

Don’t leave this plane with regrets. Try/do your best. And fucking remember to LIVE while you are alive. Life is so beautiful and there is so much to see, so many wonderful beings (human & animal) that you will encounter-that will continue to unlock more levels to your life story.

No one is sent to you, to us by accident. I have been and am absolutely blessed to have lived the way I live. To love the way I love. & to be loved. To be seen. Heard. Adored. Cared for, by the people that have come into my life.

And ofc not everyone was all good, had the best intentions, etc. but they were (& are, haters gonna hate forever I think) invaluable to me. Because their dishonesty, their betrayal, the hurt and tears that I have cried over some of them…was/is never in vain.

First of all, tears are healing. We are our own personal waterfall.

& these folks taught me some invaluable lessons; about life, myself and other human beings as we relate to one another. So. I call em lessons in growing and knowing your worth. Discernment. & keeping certain energies away from you and your aura.

Ok. Less time on them folx and more on love.

& I knowwwwwww (trust me I know) this cliché as fuck, but you gotta love yourself. Cuz once you really get there; to the core, down to your roots…you start living in your truth. You accept and love yourself & your authentic expression. And being grounded like that? With a healthy self concept…that’s a magickal ass place to be.

The love and respect that you have for yourself, will be reflected in your relationships. It affects who and what you align with.

And. What you tolerate and allow. Or don’t.

These connections will either nourish and sustain us, as we grow, evolve and age.

Or, will they drain us; our life force and energy.

Surround yourself with peace. & people who feel like home. Who you can absolutely be yourself around-there is no letting hair down. Cuz it was that way when you walked in the door.

Life is to precious and finite to feel discomfort in someone’s presence-based on familiarity, association, time spent..nah

The quality of your friendships and relationships in general, mirror the quality of your life I think.

And as someone who is 11th House ruled (my Aquarius sun + my Capricorn Venus is in the 11th) I have made/formed/created/sustained some pretty beautiful and bad ass connections & relationships with many wonderful humans from all walks of the planet (I’m also a Sagittarius moon 🛫)

Image from the artist, Raycos

To say I’ve lived a very…interesting (but fun, also enlightening, etc) life- from Atlanta to California and so many places in between and outside of that…is definitely an understatement. It’s been wild (not always the good kind 😂) but a hellova ride nonetheless and I take none of it for granted.

Looking forward to the new chapters of this book 😎🤙🏿

Roy, Mary, Airy

Queer

Life is amazing. I mean, of course it’s not perfect.

I have my very human moments of overthinking, anxiety…have you seen (been living in) the state of the world? Depression. Relationships with people you love dearly that need adjustment, or disengagement. & learning (doing your best 😬) to give yourself the same grace and compassion you extend to others. & simply navigating life and the world as a queer Black person.

I mean…

yeah.

Life be Lifeing.

But, the Sun always shines again…even if it ain’t tomorrow.

Some shit ain curable in a day let’s bffr.

But.

However…it does eventually.

And what a refreshing feeling.

It’s like…taking Lessons in Breathing*

Until it once again becomes automatic

Natural.

Beautiful.

Abundant Life all around you.

And.

Love ALL around you-

no longer sustaining oneself from a single source

that wasn’t you.

You appreciate the beautiful blues and remember that they are the same hues

As a tropical sky

Beauty:

Is

Within the eye

👁

Of the beholder.

What you believe

What you perceive

Your thoughts and thinking becoming things

Beloved…

Remember the sunshine. Do your best.

*shout out to the amazing Slam Poet Theresa Davis & her life-changing poem (She brought tears to my eyes during several different performances of this poem back in Atlanta)

“Breathing Lessons”

Saturn in Pisces

Queer

I no longer wish to subscribe to,

participate in

Or be…ripped to shreds

By: this generational curse

Look at what you done to me

You put a gun to me

Then you brought the Sun to me.

“Stay Ready” (What A Life) by Jhene Aiko featuring Kendrick Lamar
Your proverbial gun led me to the Sun 
& my way out of the darkness
It was…acceptance
Grief. Every stage
It seemed like, all…in one day

Give thanks. That contrast begets clarity
Producing astonishing colours & never to be to duplicated art-
These tears
cleansing this cycle of insanity

Offering more love
&,
offering more of…broken trust
Thrown back to me
Adorned on a golden, Venusian platter
I will always choose love…over the latter
I choose my peace, over this natural disaster
Protection and self preservation
And.
I can’t heal a wound, whilst allowing it to be constantly re-injured.

Saturn.
Pisces.
Retrograde, natal.

And if your goals include healing, growth, &/or moving on from things, people, substances, escapism. . .etc that don’t fuel your best, nor well-interest, higher good or well-being…

You know what it is. Nouns: person, place or tings.

Release what is no longer yours to carry & never forget that Your journey is personal. And healing isn’t linear.

Love & above ☝🏾 ✨

~Syn

Oh. Here is an article on Saturn in Pisces by Chani Nicholas (also where the post image is from). She’s one of the professional astrologers that I follow on a couple socials:

What You Need to Know About Saturn in Pisces

Flipp Dinero (LMAA)

Queer

& That Natalie Imbruglia wybe: Just leave me alone

Yo.

No matter how many times I say it: “Come correct, or don’t come at all,”motherfuckers steady coming, lol.

If you can’t, if you are unable to give me the love that I need in this particular type of relationship dynamic, leave me tf alone.

I am graciously accepting and loving this life of peace & blessings that I have cultivated for myself so I would rather not allow half assed love/half ass attempts and especially not breadcrumbing. That shit is for birds.

I am no ones “option.” I am a priority; just as I would make the person in my life a priority.

So…I’ma say it again. Come correct or don’t come tf at all because it will not turn out well if you step into this sanctuary, with dirty feet.

& attempt to receive this abundant, beautiful, bountiful, healthy ass love from me-whilst not even being able to meet me halfway?

Half steppin just won’t work. & the way my 7th house is set up with those planets…We can make love or make war, it’s your choice. But I promise, I won’t be the mad one. & no one’s bullshit ass crumbs will steal my joy or disrupt my life. Them days over, bby. My peace is paramount & I will protect it.

Stay Ready ||2.18|| What a Life ✨

Queer

Usually…well, I don’t think I made a post last year But I would post something about my B’EarthDay on my IG feed…but this year? Ine into dat. I just…am realizing that I’m not much of a fan of having my personal life up for public consumption. Been posting less and less personal stuff on the socials for a while now. I’m accepting that this is the most comfortable and balanced I feel. So yeah no

But I will post here. No personal images or videos…but, gratitude. Which is enough for me. My cup runneth over ✨

I treat myself (I do my best-some days not so much) and am treated wonderfully by the Universe, my fam and dearest loves/loved ones.

Every day.

& In the ways that I show up for myself. The foods I intentionally consume and those that I stay away from. The intentional ways that I practice body movement, breathing exercises, take the time to meditate and incorporate healthier ways of being. Sticking to my morning routines. The ways that I speak to myself (the intrusive thoughts, too cuz I can overthink like a mf sometimes) but. Also what I allow and no longer allow. Having and sticking with my healthy boundaries. The life that I have cultivated that is inundated with peace. Abundance. & love. I am so much more aware of and grateful for my life and life in general.

I am extended thee most beautiful and divine love; stemming from my closest humans, to acquaintances and strangers alike.

I am grateful for every human that crosses my path. Whether it be for a reason, season &/or a lifetime…all tings align.

But yeah man..I’m just gonna continue on this path and gracefully and humbly accept all this beautiful ass love and life that I get to experience. It’s a blessing every day above ground.

Granted, some days that’s a lil hard to remember…because: being human. & Shit sucks sometimes…like shit 😂 but man. This ride has been wild af, like bat shit wild some of the things I’ve seen/lived/experienced…what a life. From ATL to the Bay. & errywhere in between…

I’ve had my share of setbacks, setups (ill-intentioned people, envious/jealous people will teach you A Lot of priceless gems and teach you how to better navigate life cuz it’s a lot of them mf’s in it) heartache and heartbreak…& I wouldn’t change that shit for anything. All it did was gift me with experience, lessons, wisdom, shadow work, discernment, a therapist! 😂😂 and the list continues with a whole lot of beautiful ass blessings along the way.

It led me here . To me. As I am now. I’m grateful af. Cuz it and I am only getting better and better. Refinement. More life 🥂 Give thanks ✨

Sprite Lightning (General Observation)

Queer

Personal to Partnership

rare electrical discharges called sprites high above the clouds. A photographer in China captured this phenomenon on May 9. via Accuweather

You can like someone as a person-
what they stand for, how they think and move in the world
how great of a parent they are…
but that still doesn’t make them compatible with you, as your partner.





Doing Gods work in the devils playground

Queer
Love is...
Recognizing and acknowledging what love isn’t.
& the way we do that is by opening ourselves and our hearts once again.
Kinda reminds me of that Dr. Maya Angelou quote:

Have enough courage to trust love one more time

Oh, & this gem:

Love is a condition so powerful; it may be that which pulls the stars in the firmament. It may be that which pushes and urges the blood in the veins. Courage: you have to have courage to love somebody because you risk everything – everything.



Risk.
It’s all a risk because some people and their intentions can be complete and utter shit.
But to achieve bliss, in this sense...it’s always worth it. Because the more you open yourself up to it, the more you grow/better you get (hopefully)
‘cause in love and growth begets clarity, discernment & healthier boundaries
You found me
(Only)
After I found myself
We attracted one another after we stopped telling and living outdated stories & left those books on the shelf.

So. Here we are. Here we go. So much to lose and heaven to gain. Scorpio season always reminds me of transmutation. & these darker seasons urging me to be patient while living in a matrix & the land of instant gratification.

Digression.
So, back to the lesson
& what I feel I’m being taught...
how to not
give up on love
& I had to stop
Assuming
& expecting perfection from imperfect humans
When most of us are just doing our best
From where we at
What we understand, perceive and know to be true
Our current level of consciousness is proof
Happily ever is an attainable endeavor
Never, weather permitting
Admitting that we belong to ourselves first and only
& not to continue to commit to lofty, idealistic ideas and standards of love-because we’re lonely
Love is not that
Happily ever after...about that
I learned that
Nobody is promised to you forever
So I vow to love you and be your partner as long as we both agree to
As long as it’s healthy for the both of us
Not because time or history
The thing about love...it’s a beautiful mystery
To be discovered
unraveled and learned over and over til the end of time
Til we get it “right”
& feel like
Our whole & complete selves are not compromised
For the sake of union
I want you
And
All of what makes you, you.
& I promise to present the same to you
Vulnerable
Scars, healing, and truth
An ever evolving human and work in progress, to be continued