In 2004, this amazing film, Closer, was released. That shit changed my life. It certainly changed the way that I looked at adult relationships and fidelity. Fucked my lil idealistic head up, if I’m being honest. Because the truth of all this;
Being human: you gon fuck up.
Might not be adultery, but being imperfect, we not always gonna get the shit right. But. It’s also how we handle things. & how the other person handles things. Because with some shit, there’s no going backwards. For me anyway. When it comes to trust and being honest with intentions, I hold that shit in high regard.
Funnies shit about that though? Just bc you hold it in high regard, doesn’t mean that the other person does. Well. Whatever the case. Broken trust, is hard pill to swallow. & falling in love (or lust) with other people absolutely can and does happen. It’s how you handle the shit as it comes up (& openly communicate about it) that can save ya some time, energy &/or heartbreak. All in all, I didn’t want to go into a new year without creating/posting content from Closer. & remix it with a lil twitter.
I’m not Rihanna I do not love the way you lie. I will block you.
I wrote this piece with someone in mind. As sort of a love poem, love affirmation and manifestation. But somewhere, somehow shit got lost in translation…lost in space. But found on time. I am grateful for all of my love& life teachers, regardless of length of stay. I love being inspired and moved to write words dedicated to love. That’s the root. Everything else stems from that. So. I give thanks for presence and the essence of divinity. The reminder that love is beautiful and free. & the hope of a thing also makes life more beautiful.
Image by Alex Grey
I’m writing you poetry And consistently show you The love that you deserve Intentionally, slowly Unfold you like the most delicate petals of a rose 🌹 I will leave you whole and not pluck you But know every day I always wanna fuck you- & love you. & I will always pick you While leaving your roots room to grow, too
You are my Queen bee and my flower Love you enough to relinquish power & control Behold, the ferocious Goddess & that’s being modest Cuz there aren’t enough words to describe your beauty truly Divine You and I are truly aligned The Universe and my Ancestors are so benevolent and kind
They way they placed us together You’re my most valued treasure Loving you is so easy. Loving you takes no effort. I give thanks for mutual effort Mutual love and healthy obsession Learning in real time that I’ve mastered the lessons Every day I am in awe of your special Gas you and fill you up until you’re an overflowing vessel Of love that radiates Nothing and no one predates Our chemistry and energy The way we love each other, intentionally the generosity and blessings within our connection Is unprecedented You found me and gave to me-thee Sweetest love Your care, your affection and your time
Thank you for appreciating me Thank you for adoring me Thank you for reciprocity and for loving and receiving me
Thank you for being solid And easy like Sunday morning A Sunday kind of love is what you give every day and it’s what I’ve always wanted Thank you for that beautiful smile Thank you for taking the time to get to know me on deeper levels Your love helped me discard that hard fixed sign shell & invited me to openness I will always love you on purpose
Each and every day & in every way You bring me such joy and cognizance Learned to lead with my heart over the simply logical sense I love our attraction, I love our passion-it’s so intense
In the best ways I’m excited to spend time with you knowing that these aren’t even my best days I prayed For someone like you and here you are Love- a beautiful reminder that love knows no distance and is never far away
I know that heaven is a place on Earth and it’s with you Every day is beautiful and better than the next I love our openness The vulnerability We are on the road to free Just had to make some stops along the way I love when you message me, I love hearing your voice-it makes my night and day So much better I love reading your love letters I love receiving your love…and sharing mine with you
I created this video that I posted to my IG stories. I don’t see why my wordpress fam should be denied, lol.
Intimacy vs. Isolation
& I would like to add that I appreciate & highly value: honesty, integrity…vulnerability (as long as she feels safe to be) and authenticity. A Goddess who isn’t afraid of growth. Someone who is loving, a kind human and affectionate..I like that shit
Pulled this from my IG Story Highlights
A Goddess of Sensuality with healthy boundaries. Worldly, i.e. loves to travel and experience new places, while appreciating the beauty in other cultures and ways of living.
She exudes femininity & has a sense humor/can be goofy and loves to laugh & be happy*
*I fuck with all the vibes, but just not the fake ones*
So I’ll never be one of those “positive vibes only” people. That’s like being a robot with no feelings & is just plain harmful & toxic. IMO. so yeah no. We all experience a range of emotions and being able to process & deal with them in a healthy way is the goal. Be angry, be pissed off, be moody if need be, just as long as we not suppressing our feelings, we good. Healthy communication is key. Healthy outlets and knowing oneself; for example my 12H Sun calls for isolation in order for me to process. & I’ve found that taking the necessary steps & space to do so works best. For me. So I want her to feel comfortable with feeling the big and sometimes not so pleasant feelings and do what’s best in her own ways of processing & healing. As long as we’re not sweeping 🧹 shit under the rug and lovingly & intentionally dealing with the opportunities (notice I didn’t say “problems” -because words are powerful) for growth and greater understanding of ourselves and one another.
Soooo, yeah healthy communication is paramount. As is emotional intelligence. & Being cognizant of each other’s love languages. Respect. Even in difficult times.
Loyalty and commitment to one other is also high on my list of things that I value…as an Aqua Sun, Capricorn Venus also respecting each other’s autonomy and monogamy. Stable foundations and co-creation, not co-dependency.
If there’s anything else I think of that aligns I will add to this further. But yeah…
I love David Rose 🌹/Dan Levy. He is one of my fave Leo’s ♌️
I really and truly love when I witness a work and body of art that moves me completely. I’m on the last episode of this limited series called “Scenes From A Marriage” and I’m…Disheveled to my core. & reborn.
Because I see bits and pieces in my own villain/lover original sin-love story; the similarities and reminders of one of my deepest loves. & conversations that were happening that I couldn’t fathom their meaning because I was too stuck on the in between of a deferred dream and my ideals…based on what I thought was supposed to happen.
My idealistic take on love and what being in a relationship was. Fuck me…these scenes remind me of that lucid dream. & the reality of my ex’s humanity in seeing that our dreams were parallel until they weren’t. Her raw honesty. & how sometimes you can’t see the forest for the trees, based on your own hurt, or your own worth-or, perhaps lack there of.
Either way, this show really reached into the depths of me. Reminded me of reality. & how beautiful it is to be loved and be human. All of the messy and complicated parts included. So. In conclusion, I wrote some words about it:
Is there some ONE for every ONE? Or are we simply to experience Different lovers, different ideas & learn what the meaning is Contained within each vessel is a lesson A blessing & sometimes a curse We hurt, we scream, we cry, we mourn until...we remember our worth & what works & truly what doesn’t On slippery slopes we slide Until we collide Until we collapse Then perhaps Learn the meaning Of what isn’t Until one day we decide to put away The label makers & realize the humanness of loving each other boldly & making mistakes along the way Whose to say That I can’t belong to me only & give to you still A cup that’s filled Drinking from crystal glasses 20/20 with rose tinted spectacles We give everyone permanency & make them a collectible We hoard them, put them on a shelf right next to their pedestal To be polished so we can never see them with their subtle scars & prominent scratches We speak about the happiness Of having them But never fully experience them beyond the shell of our perceptions and expectations Erase the individual wants and needs For “we” have done ourselves a disservice Make it our purpose to worship Holy, but not common ground Just to feel safe & sound I want you around But only after you’ve found Yourself. Love your missteps Love is politically incorrect An emotional treasure within a shipwreck emotional rebirth & death On our tippy toes the closer we reach for depth And learn to swim in the abyss That darkness That elicits a sharp breath Uncontrollable we try to make it a point to hold onto that which we don’t know Write a script for love instead of Letting it all naturally come together and unfold Without permission we assign roles The rules were skewed a long time ago... That’s why you must decide your own Find your home Welcome. Rest your bones There a place for your comb and your calm.
You do. As do I.
Beautiful
In tune with Soul-
Like: i’n’i
&
I
Wanna give you so much Love
So much trust
So much space to be in your own magnificence
As I do
Every. Single. Fucking. Day
& love the hurt into acceptance and forgiveness
So we can be sure that past remains in its place
I wanna hold you in a space created by both of our energy
By your side like-
Sade and symmetry
& chemistry is:
clarity-
blowing mixing & clearing of smokey mirrors
mixing these different spirits
Combining Souls
& grabbing hold of each other by the motherfuckin collar
& saying:
I got you. & I’m not going anywhere.
& Our Love is fucking worth it.
& we Love ourselves and then one another
&
You deserve every fucking thing. As do I.
I paint myself because I am so often alone and because I am the subject I know best … I think that little by little I’ll be able to solve my problems and survive.
The subject that I know best
& Unless
You know YOU
you won’t know me…
I guess this poem is about you…
*rolls eyes*
Grab the reins. Hold tight.
I guess I-
Am supposed to give you the benefit
that I always get
Queer, Gifted & Black 