Dinner Amongst Mutuals

Gay, Lesbian, LGBTQ, qpoc, Queer, qwoc

The table was full of laughter…and vino and
Courses, coursing with tetrahydrocannabinol.

Needless to say: everyone was Peace.

&

Playing softly in the background
Sade sings so smoothly:

I gave you all the Love I got
I gave you more than I give
I gave you LOVE

More love
More vino
More laughter

I gently caress her thigh with my right hand.
Startled by this unprecedented public display of affection amongst mutual friends,
my touch was welcomed as she reaches down and places her left arm on by forearm and lays her head on my shoulder.

A few stares. Less noise.

The show must go on…

A mutual friend screams:
I knew it!

A few high fives. One would think our favourite team had just won a fucking game or something.

Ahhhh. A game, they see.

I never play when it comes to Love.

So?

What?

How long have you two been fucking?!

She Giggles. I smile.

& who says we’re fucking?

Get the fuck outta here with that bullshit! Then what exactly is it?

I turn my attention to her gaze: the one that matters the most.

It’s…everything all at once. It has no label, or need to be called anything.

Her gaze projects Love onto me:

I grab her hand and my eyes never leave hers.

In lieu of the moment, the ambiance, this beautiful being in front of me, I continued…

I’ll tell you what it isn’t:
And, on cue, Sade coo’s:

This. Is. No. Ordinary Love

Right.

That.

Someone else’s wife

Lesbian, qpoc

THAT Conversation:

C’mon. YOU said you would be honest with me & keep it real! & you want me to do the same, correct?

I nod.

Cool!

This teenager was hyped at making a point that was actually truth.

Respect, right?

He asked sarcastically as he tilted his head to the side.

Fine. & DONT tell your mother I’m out here smokin, either.

I got up and looked over the balcony as I exhaled.

Shit. I’ll never forget the first time my eyes found your moms…

I shook my head.

I know you’re probably gonna think this is corny, but…the moment I saw your mother…Time. Stood. Still. & in that frozen moment the only two things that existed was your mother and the pounding of my heartbeat.

I couldn’t believe a woman THAT beautiful was sharing the same space with me…
&…she looked at me. She…looked into me…she looked…through me with her gaze. She was so confident and commandeering even in her strut across the room. My eyes followed her & wondered what the fuck I did to deserve to have this gift, presently in my presence…

& what the hell happened why you ain’t push up?

I cocked my head to the side.

You know, why man. Your OTHER mother. Also known as your moms wife.

Yeah, but she wasn’t even around for hella long! She left us and you were the only person that helped my mom. I hadnt seen her smile or laugh or be happy for real, for real until yall became friends. She was hella depressed and then you came along and that changed.

Yeah.

I sighed. The kid was right.

Still. That’s not the way to start something…to start anything. With lies and deception. That just begets more of that shit & my Soul just ain’t about that.

Besides…initially! When I thought your mom was available…man…

I shake my head.

The amount of Love I had planned on sharing with her…it would be too beautiful and we…I, couldn’t start out like that with your mom. Whatever is meant to be, will be. So, if it’s gonna happen, it’ll happen the right way. That energy, kid. It’s universal currency. You don’t want to afford that type of karma.
I hope you feelin me at least a little.

He sits there quietly for a minute. Our backs turned away from the living room.

No thoughts, huh?

Just doesn’t seem fair, though. The way you talk about my mom, the way she lights up whenever she see you! It’s so damn obvious she in love with you!

Excuse you-

Gisselle butted into the conversation after obviously eaves dropping…

Sugar Apple

Lesbian, LGBTQ, qpoc, qwoc

…Sugar. Apple

So many layers to your sweet
So many layers to peel away &

Eat

Hmmm.

Visual ecstasy when you’re ridin…
Next to me

You check for me
& me?
I could fuck with you forever, maybe
If its meant to Be…for now i will enjoy, love and indulge in your essence-presently

Believe me ima dig deep
& we not about get much sleep for weeks
Your smile gets me weak

& Your Kiss

…You…

You gave me the Kiss of Life

Strength & empowerment in your eyes
When you stand by my side with…Pride

That’s what a Soul needs. Love. Care
Dedication &…motivation
& ima give & receive

69 both our emotional, sexual, soul-filled/desire filled/lust & passion fueled, needs.

And. Love is paramount. So.

With Patience

We shall Proceed

B’z, L’s & Teas

Lesbian, LGBTQ, qpoc, Queer, qwoc

You know what?

I Love, Love

For real. Yes, I’ve had my heart broken into a million + pieces…but, damn! That allowed me to free up so much of myself that I had been so tightly clinging to forever and a decade!

So:
The moment I became completely vulnerable…100% my insecurities popped up, since they were never dealt with in the first place. Then, Love showed me her face…& ever since that day, I can’t, I won’t give it up.

Love is a beautiful thing. It brings so much Growth,
So much Change throughout the Pain.

You finally face your own Soul.
Wow.

Thank you to all of my Love Teachers! I’m close! Thank you for the Hope & the Reason to keep on Loving…

I see the Goddess in you.

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Give Me Love

Lesbian, LGBTQ, qpoc, Queer, qwoc, sexuality

Her:
So…I heard you went to the dark side. So, does she have you worshiping the devil.

    • Me:

Don’t start. YOU of all people, please. Dont start that Judge Judy shit.

Besides being this beautiful ass Bruja, she’s fucking amazing. Incredible. A Goddess. She loves me sweetly. & completely.

    She. Rolled her eyes

Me:
Yeah it means the Universe to me when a woman, the woman that I am caring for & could possibly be Loving Forever gives a fuck and shows it.

Fuck. Be happy for my ass. She cares, G.

Her:
I Care!

Me:
I know that.

But she shows it.
And…I don’t have to guess if I’m on her mind, she tells me! & it’s not 7 or 8 days after we’ve seen each other, either.

    • Her:

That’s not fair! You knew the situation!

Me:
Yes, that’s why I chose me over your sexy, beautiful…gorgeous, albeit moody Cancer ♋️ ass.

I accepted that you and I weren’t aligning in the ways we needed to. I had to let go. I had to love me more and know my worthiness of more than a part time love affair. And once I did that…she showed up.

This woman manifested when I  was doing my best to not lose hope in Californian women…She reminded me of Love, again G. Not just any Love, but the realest, truest most Divine love.

My heart feels safe with her. I feel like…she wants the best for me. No matter what the fuck she and I are doing or if we were to part ways because our time together was done…

(I Smile from within)

She’s concerned. & asks me how my day is. She sends me amazing books to read. She looks up recipes from back home and calls my mum to make sure she is making dishes that my grandmother used to make, right. The magnitude of care…of her love for me…is immeasurable.

I FEEL her love. I see it…and, her love makes a difference.

Her:
Damn! She’s trying to lock your ass down isn’t she?!

Me:
It’s not about that, G.

(I shook my head)

Her:
Then explain to me what the fuck this (she pointed at the wallpaper of my phones background (which had a picture of me and my Goddess kissing) Is about?!

Me:
Love. That’s ALL I ever needed it, wanted it & demand it be about. Fuck your money! Fuck your cars! Fuck how many stocks you have! Your status or clout…nah.

Give
Me
Love

That’s all I give & ask for in return. Of anyone. Reciprocity of Divine love.

I can buy my own shit. Give me the the most unselfish gift you can give another person:

Your Genuine Love.
Your Time. Your Concern. Your Care.
As I give gladly & willingly because she deserves the best fucking Love, just as I do.

&. If you can’t:
Give me nothing at all.

Peace

Journal Entry…

gender, LGBTQ, qpoc, qwoc

Fuck. I guess Number 1.
Yowsers.

Listening to The Zone- Drake The Wknd
Cuz it reminded me of your smooth, sexy ass…

Then.
It
Hit
Me

My …

Higher Me
Speaking to my

    1. Higher

SELF

Remembering
Only moments earlier i was One with Spirit and Self
In Gratitude for being Saved once Again…

I thought………..
I
Lay

    • My

higher Self

& then The Birds Part 2- The Wknd again.

It HIT ME

what if:

    • What.

 

    If?

YOU
WERE [ MY ] WIFE???

How would [ I ] feel?
If
You were to do with her

that
you

    • Should only be

 

    • Doing.

 

    • With

 

    ME????

Ha

me?

Me. Striving for a better.

Would let

Lust

Destroy the Trust

& willingly. knowingly. Break. Love.

& It Hit Me

How could I intentionally. Willingly. Hurt. Another human being
even though I don’t know her & she don’t know me?!

Being as how i had meditated hours earlier & in my very present being
Gave thanks & got lifted to Higher Self

& it hit me!!!!

That shyt just ain’t me.
Not my Style or Soul.

So I exhaled all the images of your fine ass.

I shouldn’t have even entertained it
So.
Went completely through iPhone & erased:

HISTORY.

Thank the Goddess for realization and growth.

Goddess be with us in our hardest times. Thank You.

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Fuckin Lunar Act/Intent

Bisexual, Gay, gender, Lesbian, LGBTQ, qpoc, Queer, qwoc, sexuality, Transgender

Keep your Power
Hold on to your Peace

    • Cuz I’ll

Always

    fight for mine

As
My mind fights for Rhyme
As a Synner fights for Time

I go
I seek
I Be
Love
-Shine.

Righteous appetite for Cali nights
Kissing
&
Missing
Blushing
&
Crushing
Lip biting

Fever fighting
Love potion number 9
Reading the writing
On the wall

& in my phone.

But so much better in person
We slip into each other so easily- like: cursive

Nursing
A love hangover
She rests her head on my shoulder

Suddenly there is no boulder
Our OUT is much bolder
Than most.

Defying norms
We transform
Into full fledged adults
Dealing with some grown ass shit

& some grown ass emotional shifts

All on the eve
I believe.
Of the first New Moon.
Fucking Lunar Action.


https://youtu.be/niEYaeYa72U

Yeahhuh

Bisexual, Gay, gender, Lesbian, LGBTQ, qpoc, Queer, qwoc, sexuality, Transgender

I paint myself because I am so often alone and because I am the subject I know best … I think that little by little I’ll be able to solve my problems and survive.

The subject that I know best

    & Unless

You know YOU
you won’t know me…

I guess this poem is about you…
*rolls eyes*

Grab the reins. Hold tight.

    I guess I-

Am supposed to give you the benefit
that I always get

Although, I forgive I don’t forget.

compassion…i got plenty.

Empathy

& so it is

Bisexual, Gay, gender, Lesbian, LGBTQ, qpoc, Queer, qwoc, sexuality, Transgender

Ima pretty cool character. But YOU
You cause me to become a lil disheveled

she listened as her eyes glistened
Smile reminiscent
Of Goddess

    1. Shining

 

    1. Almost

 

    Blinding…

Nah. You know what it is?

Her: What?

You disarm me…

Someone said:
True Love was dead
But I’ve found a Fort
Oh. Found a Fort
For YOU