Yeezy 18’s

Lesbian, LGBTQ, qpoc, Queer, qwoc

I’m going to attempt to watch something funny. One of my favourite shows. Something that would make me smile, cry real tears  (not just emoji ones) of laughter and remember how much of a gift it is to be able to laugh (Shout out to Mindy Kaling and the Mindy Project. Its hilarious). A gift to feel and experience joy. Happiness. All of the moments are precious. Don’t count them, but make them count (I feel like that last line is a real quote from someone 🤔)

Damn. Death sure has a way of kicking you in the balls; actual or strapped on ones-don’t matter you get the reference.

But shit. If someone kicks you in the balls (I’m assuming & also going by countless cinematic scenes where the cis gendered dude seems to be in excruciating pain 🎬) you probably deserved it? Bc who does that to someone w/o reason? (Aside from men 🙄)

Am I saying that when someone dies that we deserve to experience death/loss/grief in that way? No. That would be hella idiotic and quite a problematic statement.

What I’m saying izzzzz: We deserve to live. To remember to live, while we are here.

We deserve to be loved fully, wholly as ourselves and to give/return that same love to others. We deserve to experience the full, infinite magnitude and spectrum of love and to be in relationships that nourish & nurture us. We are here for the experience of life and living.

Nothing like a new ancestor to remind your ass to grab life by the horns (shout out to my Uncle, a Taurus, my mum and all my bulls 🤘) & make your experience reflect your authentic expression.

Passion. Love. Life is living.

Goddess, bless the dead

and

bless the mortals still alive, who are playing dead…the walking dead.

Love to you in your moments. Life. The gift. Open up.

– Syn El Sol ☀

#tothatoneg

LGBTQ

They say:
Let go of what you fear losing most

2015:
Year of the ghost

I no longer give permission
To apparitions
Of December’s past Christmas
When you was at the top of my wish list
& I was a failing Christian

I told you I didn’t wanna go to hell.
The fuck…was I thinking…

Well…
I meant well
Saving soul
breaking heart
Do not covet
Dearly beloved
I’ve never loved at
The first moment
Before
You.

I ain’t got Nothin to lose
I realized around two
All along…
It was you.

Except,
It’s no longer
2
0
1
5
I’m alive.
Buried truth over lies. I love me.
&
It’s her time

All love
no lies

Letting go of what I feared most.

Yessi. It is so.
Thank you for the strength and every ounce of support. Time and patience. The reward is greater and greatly appreciated.

When lesbians r honest and not just a hashtag #lezbihonest

LGBTQ

I whispered your name in reality
In my dreams you are way closer
A figure

I figure

Would realize what love looks
feels
tastes
smells
aches like….

A longing between eyes
Guilt- in between subtle tries.
She likes em from the South
Louisiana
Southern Fried
Until one day she
Met a gypsy
& she
Fell so quickly
But fleeting
Is the language
Between
Hearts beating
Never could we meet
On equal
Level planes
Yo…
Cuz…
You already had someone else’s last name #taylorgang

Ah. The fucking Aha moment. At 2am tho?

LGBTQ

I figured it out…

PTSD…i always associated with not me. The end.
Nah. At this hour, i realized it stems from childhood. pertaining to loud noises waking me out of my sleep and why I used to be pissed all the way off whenever I was woken up by loud noises…as an adult.

Hmmm. Interesting that I recall this now and I’ve been trying to get to the root of it ever since it was brought to my attention…

Ok.
As a youngin. My mom was being super mom holding down our family and I grew up spending a lot of time at my Grammys house. Well, my grandmother (like most) was awesome and so kind. She adopted my cousin at a very young age from his mother, and her very own daughter because she didn’t want him….yeah.

Well, he was literally the coolest and one of my favourite cousins who always looked out for me and made sure I was keeping up with Yo! MTV Raps, recorded videos for me and shows I would miss while I was in school. #thebestest

And this cool cat,
As far back
And
as long as I can remember was hooked on crack.
Like…steal from the woman who clothes, feeds, takes care of you, get violent and forceful when she would try and put her foot down and say no (but would eventually give in because the neighbors don’t need to know ALL of the family’s dirty laundry he willingly volunteered at the top of his lungs at the most Ungodliest hours) …

& when cuzzo started feigning it was like…
watching a man. turn into an animal…
and…the really bad instances when he’s stolen and begged from neighbors, had his fix and when that ran out…satan. red eyes and all. Everything that i was taught about the devil…
I saw it. In his eyes
didn’t know him. I didn’t trust what that white made him do or say because who are you? when I’m looking up but you’re falling down
Slurred speech
And this usually happened between 2 and 3.
Sound asleep.
Then.
Banging on the windows. Yelling
and Cursing.
Demanding and
threatening…
Banging.
Crashing.
My grandmother holding her already weakened heart and crying as she walks over to where she secretly keeps her “lil change”
to give to the Boy
who never stops taking even until her last breath
And…ok,I’m done…sigh. that’s why.

More Than a Woman

LGBTQ

The strength.
mountains you’ve climbed

I see
During,
Not limited to,
The meeting
Visual love-making
partaking
at every single
meeting of
our
Eyes

And.

Our minds?
Race.
So,

This is what it feels like
To
Levitate

Time?
Becomes real

And

ceases to exist … The Universe is unveiled.

You?
I see the Ancestors in you… You
are Everything

Sõl + Moon

And

Everything
is You.

So much more than beautiful

1/6/16 12:34 AM

When your favourite aunt passes…

LGBTQ

My cousin sent me an image of her from back home
Funeral
Yesterday

The image was breathtaking
She looked so beautiful

Somehow.
The Light was missing
Amidst the physical essence

I miss it..
I don’t see it.

I can see it.
The difference
I. A face
Between
LIFE
And
Death.

Her face as youthful as I had ever remembered
Darkness of this Earth present
Her Light has moved on…

I see it
In an Image

I see it.

I’ve never seen that before.
Goddess Bless and keep the soul of my Aunt Levy. cuz she ain’t here no more
I see it.

I love you.

Letter to Her & the blessing of a Doula

Lesbian, LGBTQ, QBag, qpoc, Queer, qwoc

A vision of you
Naked
In our living room 
In the pool

Me:
Eyes-
open
Heart
OPEN
The Universe;
Open
Your legs are open
I’m looking at you
Reverently
Admiring
Your crown
Your chest
Goes up and down
Sweat dripping off your brow
Sweat dripping down my back

This. Here.
This place Is where we are at

Where river and ocean meet-in love.

And I don’t know which number cloud I am on
and you’re love, your gift is the high I’m on

Unbelievable
Surreal
I’m not sure what it is I feel
Love is overflowing
In this moment
Amidst your screams and moaning
I know now what it feels like to BE In the Moment
Cuz as your breathing
I breathe with you
I want you to know I’m here with you
I’m here for you
And I’ll never leave you
I hold your hand tightly as you squeeze mine
Every breath and every scream freezes time
You are mine
As we are crying tears of Heaven
Reign down and you bear down
And deliver the greatest gift I would ever receive: our child.

Give thanks to the Great Mother. Give thanks to the Great Goddess.

Peace and Blessings Manifest. Axé.

Rasta Shoppin

LGBTQ

I don’t care if I have 1 million or one single dollar…I am & will always be Blessed. So. There is a gentleman that I pass by every day on my daily commute and walk into my office bldg. I said Good morning as I normally do when I see him and he was sitting just as he does every day beneath the AC Transit bus stop or near it. Today he was underneath I’m sure because of all of the rain. I stopped. & I spoke to him and saw him wrapped in this beige blanket, still with smile of Peace on his face. My, my. Just a reminder that happiness is free.

I had about 14 minutes to spare before work so I dashed across Clay and 11th in my slippery ass Supras and against the wet concrete and grabbed him a coffee and some breakfast. Definitely a slippery slope (couldn’t help it, lol). It was raining like a mf and I figured I could at least kinda help him stay warm as he sits outside in the rain…about 45 minutes later I ended up leaving work.

On my way back, we conversed a little more as he offered me a slice of his pumkin pie…my heart was full and here this gentleman was with little to nothing, offering me some of what he had. Hmmm. This is God. This is Her reminder that She is Present, everywhere and in all things. I did the “hmmmm” because some people have so much & still won’t give or help anyone else & here he is, offering me some of his food. As I stood there talking to him, his Soul shined so bright & the warmth in his smile moved me. I Am so so sooooo grateful. So my Spirit started speaking and I asked him, “you need anything, man?” He said to me, “you know, I could use a toothbrush and some toothpaste, some deodorant if you can.”

So. I did what I would do for my father or my brother or a friend…things that we a lot of times take for granted that people only wish they could have on the regular. Well, I know what it is to have and I also know what it is to have not…The Goddess is gracious to me – and I am beyond grateful. Thank you for your Spirit and reminding me that God is Love. I Am God and so is he. Gifts between gods.

Cheers to you, Rasta! Thanks for the reminder of Love!

or real talk

LGBTQ

“How old are you?”

I divulge my age.

“I would have never guessed that…because you look nineteen! And you speak as if you’re in your 40’s or 50’s.”

Ok. Thanks?

I just…I was fast tracked into a lot of growth over a short span of time; mentally and spiritually.

For me, before my awakening, I was SO stubborn, so selfish/SO stuck on self that the Universe was like

“ok, looks like you will have to get it this time, by any means necessary.”

And that’s what I think helped shaped me into this being that I am now and am becoming. I had to go through breaking almost to what I thought was the point of no return.
To me. Where I was. I was broken. I had to come undone to become anything that I might Be.
Some of the lowest thoughts and I was at the lowest of lows.
I didn’t know who I was. I had let a relationship, or rather the ending of a relationship crumple me up like a piece of paper…
And me
Trying to breathe
Trying to see- because my eyes became rivers
Flooding my existence and drowning my being in sorrow.
I didn’t think about tomorrow
I didn’t think
About
Sunshine
I didn’t think about, The Divine
Until
It was the right time
I had be that piece of paper crumbled up

My voice
My spirit
My soul
At that point…
If you can imagine this:
A tiny microscopic organism trying to unravel the entire sheet of paper from within.
That was the fight!
Breaking
FREE
From: Within
Axé.