The Sins Of Our Fathers

Queer

Still binging This Is Us…fuck.

& yes, yes I’m aware that I’m late to the party.

This show is so beautiful and so authentic. So raw with real emotion(s)…

It’s such a beautiful & tearful reminder of the finiteness of life.

The beauty of it.

The magic of these absolutely intentional & necessary connections we attract in life.

It made me remember that no matter how ugly the world may be/is…there is such a love, such a bond between ourselves and the humans that grace our lives…from the love of our parents…to our lovers and friends…our soul mates that come in several forms. Our partners in parenting and partners in life.

I legit have cried almost every single episode. The beauty (damn I use that word a lot) & the messiness in…evolving relationships and partnerships. Change. Grief. Loyalty. Love. Commitment.

& when I see the presence of a father like Jack and how I still have a wound (maybe always will?) surrounding my own absentee father. My dad wasn’t a bad dad; I had a great time when we spent summers together…but, there were so many times that he just wasn’t there…& just wished he would have been. So many moments. & watch this show…& I see this guy being such a present, supportive and loving dad…& I wonder…what it’s like.

What it would have been like, to have that if my dad hadn’t gotten addicted to drugs. To a substance…that forced my Mum to take the utmost stance-of love.

And decided that love (in conjunction with substance abuse) would never be it…never be enough…to subject me to that lifestyle or environment.

This show hits home and taps in- to places i once held in-closets these emotions once hid in.

This show makes me dig in

& face demons

Of rejection and abandonment issues

Ima sue this show for boxes of tissues

Because it’s so fucking good. So goddamn real.

It’s…hella things.

& then more.

Family. Love. Ancestry. Legacy. Loss.

It emphasizes how much our childhood wounds and trauma manifests into adult trauma…and the reminder that…no human is perfect. Some do a better job at this thing called life. Some do their best. Some, don’t even attempt at it. Just allowing life to happen to them, instead of grabbing this mf by the horns, & making your life happen for you.

Fucking wild. & this show is fucking brilliant.

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