Funkdafied & terrified

Oh this one…

my #dykespiration comin up 🤙🏿

& this video!!! I was LIVING!

She had errybody from Big to TBoz…to Kris Kross. MC Lyte…

Too Short to Keith…the most beautiful sum, sum, sum…is just like that (it’s a song lyric I’m singing in my head til I remember his name)…oh! Shit yes, Keith Murray! He was up in that bitch, too.

My young ass- always a fan of hip hop and music in general (due largely in part to kicking it a lot with my older cousin, Vasco, who is such a music head. The Tv was always on BET or MTV. His music was always blasting in his room…

Well. Anyway. I was a youngin. This was 1995 when I saw that video and was like…this is it.

This is what it’s like when your best dyke dreams come true you have all the folx pull up to shoot a video where you eating chicken wings (during the video being shot) and drinking champagne n shit…which translated and trickled down into my belief that:

Just cuz you got money, folx will accept you for who you are, as you are

Fast forward. March. 2020.

And my best dyke dreams are still coming true because this human who I’ve admired & loved her music from time* was unburdening herself. Amongst her peers, her family, strangers on the internet…her love poured out & I was so happy for her.

*except the listening to r. Kelly still, comment 🥴 Because as a black womxn first and foremost…that human & his disgusting behaviors & abuse against black girls and women…I just couldn’t stomach that response

Hmmm. So. I stopped listening to her music. Then one day, I got down off my Judge Judy high horse when I was reminded:

Cuz they human.

Some humans tho (like the trash Robert Kelly) shall never be supported by me again. I’m even that way with Chris Brown after that whole Rihanna assault and his toxic ways stalking his ex outside of the club…I just. No.

I am of fucking fixed modality. & if my spirit concurs that you trash…

& so. As human and sometimes problematic any of us can be…I decided to just be grateful for the human that gave me solid flow & consistency. Plus, someone whose clothes were as baggy (hers more cuz my mum hated it) like mine & looked like a prime candidate, possibly a scholar, in the cunnilingus department.

She boosted my confidence with her (before this was cliche and over consumed) swag.

She seemed out of the closet by my young gaydar…25 years after the braids, timbs & huge chains…some weight lifted when she posted up about her love. I felt her joy. & her exhale…amidst her tears. It was beautiful to witness.

Wow.

What a difference time, perception & wisdom makes.

This whole time…I thought she was living the best life (I’m don’t get me wrong, it seems like she is)…

but with labels & deals that could control your sex life…

The best life

For me, Is living and loving free

Free.

Freedom.

To love (& fuck) who you please & who pleases you; even if they happen to be born with the same parts.

It’s ironic af. The one organ folx seems to dismiss, reduce and leave out…is the heart. That’s the conversation that should be had. Not genitalia.