Sunday. erryday

Dearest Etta, you lent me some good ass wisdom the first…okay no, I was too young & honestly didn’t know what the heck having a Sunday kind of love, was even about.

We’ve been conditioned to have this mentality of

Live for the weekend

& we scream every Friday:

TGIF

etc…as if life doesn’t exist before Friday.

I’ve worked in the Food Industry where…unless you are working at a place that is closed on Sundays (a rare blessing like shit), yo ass would be up in that bitch every weekend and every holiday (with the exception of the 2 or 3 holidays capitalism deems worthy of a labourless day)

It wasn’t until I began my transition into presence and being present…that I could even comprehend having a Sunday kind of love. First, I had to know what it was like to have a Sunday off.

For many years, all my days were pretty much the same. I can honestly attest to at least 5 years working for a concept and having little to zero enjoyment &/or pleasure. It was always

“He” is capitalism

So. Once I decided that I wanted more and began to do the things to change the experience that I was having…the days became days again.

Not just:

Work. Home, repeat.

That is a fucked up cycle if you ask me and a very easy way to wash away your passion, dreams, &/or any remnants of doing, being and having more bc you become so consumed with maintaining this monotonous & mundane experience, you forget to enjoy things. and for me, I was neglecting my own happiness, which trickle down into my interpersonal relationships.

When they say (& yes it sounds, or is cliché?)

happiness is an inside job

that shit is true asf. Because I was overwhelmed, overworked and underpaid like many are…So yeah…

I was unhappy. Grateful to have had food & a roof over my head, that in itself is a blessing. But my mental and emotional health were severely neglected in what I thought at the time, was my pursuit of happiness; money, titles, things, etc

But why was I still unhappy?

Somewhere

Somehow

Along the journey, I came across this quote that helped put shit into perspective for me.

& once that shit hit me, like fr hit me, I was like:

Bih, you are the Decider.

& it was time to stop busting my ass working for someone else; building their dreams, & neglecting my own.

Give thanks for cognizance.

Give thanks for presence & what a gift the present is.

Took me 7 1/2 years to figure out how to navigate out of that company and into my new pathways to pursuing & becoming my own peace. Self acceptance and love…forgiveness and awareness…and lemme tell ya, gratitude absolutely changes things.

As does the belief in yourself that you are worthy and deserving of more…in order to align with it.

Sundays…and love.

Not just any love, or any experience, but this thing that Muva Oprah described as the highest, grandest…